Saturday, May 06, 2006

Moving On

I spoke with an old friend from Florida the other day. I had made repeated attempts to contact this person. I had heard through the Sunday School prayer chain that her health was not great and that she was struggling with some things. So I set out to reach her and reach out to her and let her know that I was thinking about her. It took me three times to reach her. I left a message each time and never heard back from her. Finally, I managed to reach her and it was rather strange. It was like we had never really known each other. Like she was not in the least bit interested or glad to hear from me. She did not inquire once about Chris or my kids....nothing. The whole conversation was like pulling teeth. I asked about her kids and school and her husband and sports and the health of their children. The whole conversation was an odd one and I came to the realization that sometimes, the people whom we cling to for one reason or another as "friends" really are not our friends at all. Not once have we heard from them since we left. We could pretty much drop off the face of the earth I suppose and they would not miss us. I keep in touch with exactly two friends from Florida. Well, three. I talk to Wendy almost without fail AT LEAST once a week. And while I don't talk to Lori as often, I do still hear from her from time to time. I know without a doubt that she thinks of me from time to time and of my kids and my family. And just last week I got a letter and phone call from my high school friend Deborah Taylor. That meant so much to me to know that she still thinks of me. Other than that....it's like that chapter of our lives does not exist any longer. I fully realize that people move on...and I have no regrets about moving on really. My kids are happy here. I have wonderful, lovely friends, strong Christian women friends whom I adore. My husband is unelievably happy in his job here and we have a really nice life. Our lifestyle is wonderful and comfortable and I truly love living here in the beauty of the desert (rattlesnakes and all!). So....it's not a bad thing really. More of a factual thing I guess. It's time to move on and let go of the people who let go of me; almost before I crossed the state line. I doubt that I will look back. My focus is on the future and what life has to offer right here in my wonderful corner of the world! I wouldn't go back if I could. Life is just too good, here in the desert!

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