Misery in the House

Today I am miserable! I have been up since 11:00 p.m. last night. Not by myself. Poor Max joined me in the misery. It seems that Maxwell and I picked up a nasty little case of food poisoning. We were comforting each other in our miseries all through the night. Now that the sun has come up...noone is throwing up still...so that's good. But we are both pretty miserable still. My stomach still hurts so much and waves of nausea continue to wash over me from time to time. And we both still have horrible headaches. Actually, after last night, my whole entire body is just hurting today. I just managed a piece of toast and yet another hit of ibuprofen, hoping to settle the grumblies and groans that are still happening and to curb the unrelenting head and body aches. I haven't seen Max for a couple of hours now, so I am thinking he's dropped back off to sleep. Sigh...NOT how I was looking to spend my Wednesday. I had to miss this morning's combat class and I HATE missing that class.

In other Roberts news...Max continues on medication for his ADD. He is still pretty uncooperative in the process and insists that there is NO problem whatsoever. Each Dr.s visit is quite stressful with him as he is SO set in his opinion. Yesterday we argued ENDLESSLY about a certain assignment that is "missing" in one of his classes. He insists that he turned it in, but his grade report is still showing a zero. He's unbelievably okay with just taking a zero...whereas, I am not so much. That has been a HUGE part of his problem this school year...all the zeroes. Our hopes with the medication he was put on is that it will help him to be able to focus more and follow through on the grades he is missing and help him tune in more to what needs to be taken care of. I wish I could say it's working...but thus far...not so much. The arrangement that we have is that as long as he is showing any outstanding missing assignments, he is "unplugged", as in no video games. That's the place where it really gets him. Video games are his LIFE link! That worked well...until I had to enforce it yesterday. You would have thought it was the end of the world. Tempers were flaring and he argued his irresponsible point to the death. I kept explaining the whole point of all of this is to develop sense of responsibility and an ability to see the details through. HE says "who cares about a zero if you still have a B in the class?!". Lovely. Again...I went back to the point that it isn't really the grades...but the details involved in the grades and that's where things are falling through the cracks. He argued back...it was endless. I love raising the pre-teen and all of his crazy irrational hormones! Big fun!

In addition to arguing with Max all day yesterday, we had another dinner time disaster! It's no real secret that I don't love to cook. I really pretty much hate it. But I recognize that it is often times a necessary evil. And I try to do some things that Chris will enjoy eating. If I do something entirely not kid friendly, then I try to make sure I make something else for the kids. Yesterday, despite the first uncomfortable rumblings of this horrific food poisoning starting to crank up, I cooked dinner for my family. I chose a recipe from the new Cooking Light issue that had sounded yummy. On the menu last night...lemon pepper shrimp scampi, sauteed asparagus and orzo. It cooked up nicely and the presentation was lovely. I placed a bright and beautiful plate in front of each of my family members. They all proceeded to sit and stare at it like I had just placed a plate of radioactive poo in front of them. Lovely. I could see the kids being a bit skeptical...but I expected more from
Chris. His lack of enthusiasm did NOT go unnoticed. When I questioned as to whether or not he liked it he said it was fine. Good. Yet he didn't eat it like it was. That's when he told me he had just happened to have fish, asparagus and rice for lunch. Hmmm. Lovely. Wrong answer. By this point, my stomach was really churning, I was tired and miserable and with all of the arguing with Max, added onto the whole radioactive poop reaction. Dinner was a lovely affair! Just underscores how much I totally hate cooking!

What else is going on? Business is good. Much better than I expected with this current economy for sure! It's keeping me plenty busy these days and I suppose that is a really good thing. The school year is rocking right along. We are already at Rodeo Days tomorrow...So there are only about 3 months of school left. I am ready for summer! Not so much because I look forward to having the kids here 24/7...but I AM looking forward to not having the constant homework grind and schedules and activities going on. I'm more than ready for a break from the projects and reports and homework packets. We are scheduled to spend a month at the beach this summer and I am really looking forward to that!

Guess that is about all the news for now. Tummy is hurting so I am getting off of here and try to escape the pain!

Power of Pictures

I am so tired as I type this tonight. And I need to go to bed. But my mind is swimming and I need a few minutes to wind it all down so i can rest. Tonight I have been working on a slideshow for one of my NILMDTS families. I probably should have had it done by now...but I had two sessions hit my desk less than 12 hours apart. And there are so many photos from each session. And the session I am working on tonight has maternity, birth, and memorial service pictures too. It's a LOT of photos to sort through. I have been working on these pictures for over a week now. One here, and two or three there. Every time I have had a second I have pulled them up and worked on whatever was next. Tonight I started stringing them all together into a slideshow presentation. It's the first time I've seen the finished images all together. Showcased. And set to music. It's breathtaking. I sat here in tears as I saw the images cross my screen. I mean...I took the images. I remember being there. But I am taken aback by the power of these photographs. By how much emotion they convey. By how much grief has been captured. The details...The STORY that they tell. The pictures are all so beautiful. I see two parents in a maternity shoot cradling their soon to be born son. A son they know is not destined to live on this earth with them. A son they know they will greet and say goodbye to in the same breath. I see resolve in this beautiful mother's eyes. And I see...hope? In Dad's eyes? The scene changes then and phases into a collection of tiny feet. And tiny hands. And two parents cuddling their sweet baby. Gone before they even really uttered the word "welcome". I see their big hands against his tiny one. And his sweet little feet all curled up under him. I see his grandmothers cradling him just so and cooing to him and dressing him. I see his Daddy bestowing a sweet and emotion filled kiss upon his Mommy's head as she gazes down at him. And I see so much love and tenderness and sadness. The pictures fade and phase into new scenes. There are funeral floral arrangements. Blue and white flowers everywhere. And a tiny little white coffin. There are family gathered around a statue of Jesus. A united front in bidding farewell to this precious angel. There are pictures of his Mom and Dad and brothers and grandmothers...all releasing beautiful white doves up into the air. And all of those doves flying in the shadow of a beautiful daytime moon. Dad carries this tiny coffin, himself, from the hearse to the statue place. And again, from this place to the grave. He hands it, oh so tenderly to the gravedigger....awaiting this wee babe from down in the hole. There are photos of his family saying goodbye. Tossing their handfuls of dirt onto the casket and throwing in roses in a final act of goodbye. Powerful images. I am moved beyond belief tonight. I am so blessed that this family let me capture their journey. That they trusted and invited me into their world to capture this for them. To preserve it in such a way that they will treasure for all times. I'm blessed to have had my perspective reset...to have had a glimpse of a different life...and to be reminded that we are all dealt a different path to walk upon. None of us knows what tomorrow holds and each day is precious and a gift from God. As painful as it was...this day was still a gift for this family. And it's all there...the power of the pictures. And I am a changed person because of it.

When it Rains, It Pours

Keep me in your prayers. I just had, yet another call from UMC with a NICU family needing services. We are getting so many calls right now. So many hospitals and families asking for our services. It's been nuts. Between my two sessions last week AND the memorial service, I probably have over 400 pictures on my desk right now that need attention. Not to mention my other, paying clients who also would like to receive their pictures in a timely manner. i am having some major time management challenges right about now! So much to do...so little time. And now I have a yucky cold coming on as well. My head feels so heavy and yucky. I just want to climb into bed and sleep forever...but there is NO time for that. And so...prayers for me as it pours and pours tasks right now.

Max's grades are once again, in the proverbial toilet! I don't know how it happens for him. He simply cannot get his things turned in. Doesn't seem to bother him one little bit. I guess I am going to really have to step back here and let him take the fall. It's going to be hard and fast I'm afraid. But alas. It's up to him to make a success of himself. The sooner he does so, the better. Unfortunately, I'm afraid he possesses quite a bent toward the lazier side of life and I doubt motivation is really pumping through him. It's so frustrating to keep going through this with him. At times I feel a bit sympathetic towards him...today I'm really just back to being severely aggravated with him. Watching him...I see that he really just doesn't give a crap. That's an unfortunate thing really. Makes life more than a little miserable around here and it makes it very, very hard for me to like that boy of mine. He and I are just such different creatures. He's like an alien to me with his thinking and his lack of effort and motivation. I honestly do not know what to do with him.

The weekend is ending up jam packed. I'm tired already just thinking about all that needs to be done and accomplished. There are extra, mandatory cheerleading practices on Saturday. And a lot of photo shoots. And two birthday parties. A sleepover...Oh...and Chris has a dinner that he and I have to go to. And thats just Saturday's schedule! Yikes! I really can't wait until we have a weekend with absolutely NOTHING going on. Just a couple of days to sit around and stare at each other. Sounds oh so dreamy!!!

That's all the news for now. Or at least...all that I have time to share. It's late. I'm tired. Must sleep as we hit the floor running full speed tomorrow morning!

Life

It has been a very busy couple of weeks in our house. A lot of "life" happening. Both boys have science fair projects due. Oh joy and jubilation over those assignments. I hate the science fair. I hate the projects. I hate the time and tediousness that have to go into it. I hate the display boards and every single thing that surrounds it. Plain and simple. And so, it's been a taxing couple of weeks. I should be thankful that Maxwell decided to investigate something simple this go round, instead of all manner of impossible, like he usually does. I am pleased to announce that the CIA and FBI have no cause to be alarmed over his choice of subject matter this time. He's not researching the feasability of launching a biological terrorism attack on the world. Or any other terrorist like activities either! Nope. He's trying to see if video games are an effective way of distracting people from pain. Poor Max...had to sit around with his friends and play video games all day long with them. The rigors of research, I tell ya! He has all of his results...yet getting them all typed up and in presentation form seems to be a hump he just can't get motivated to get over. Thus, I get to live in uncompleted project purgatory for a while! Fun, fun, fun. That boy loves messing with my peace! Ben is working on his own project. He's all about killing some plants. Like mother, like son! He's trying to determine which of 4 different detergents is most harmful to vegetation. Honestly...the fact that the plants are sitting in MY backyard pretty much is about as harmful as it gets! But he's faithfully watering them with his soapy concoction and it's just a matter of time now before death takes them over.

It's been a very busy couple of weeks with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. I had two babies in two days last week. One I was expecting, and one I was not. But it turned out that moms knew each other and lost their angels just hours apart. I have been so blessed by both of these families. They have been so sweet and wonderful to work with. I have been scrambling to get images ready for them so that they will have them for services this week. One family asked me to also come and photograph their graveside service. So I am going to do that tomorrow. I spoke with one of the moms yesterday. As we talked I could hear it in her voice how desperate she was to see any images of her baby girl. She told me the ones they took at the hospital just weren't very good. I only had a few of them ready for her. But I went ahead and e-mailed them to her as I talked with her. And just hearing her voice when she received them...It reminded me why I do this. She broke down in tears and cried and kept saying over and over again how beautiful they were and how beautiful her little girl looked. She was so relieved to know that there were beautiful images of her from that preciously sweet time she had gotten to hold her. I know that those pictures will mean the world to her and her family. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all right now, with so many pictures on my desk to deal with and nearly all of them needing a good deal of tedious touching. Add in the services tomorrow....along with just the business of all of our Mondays....and I almost want to stick my head in a hole until it goes away! But I know what these images will mean to the families...and so I push on!

Chris and I have been doing the P90X workout. I made it through the entire first week. It is definitely the hardest workout I have ever taken on in my entire life. The first day I did it, I didn't think I would be able to raise my arms over my head ever again! And the next day that I did it, I thought I might never walk normally again. I was THAT sore. And I rarely get sore from a workout. My arms hurt. And my back and my chest. And my BUTT! OH my butt! And my abs. Ouch! But it's been a week and the workouts are cycling through again now. The legs workout was tough...but not as tough as the first time I did it. And I added weight this time also. The first time I did it with none! I'm sore this evening...but nearly like I was the first time through. And I KNOW I am getting stronger. When I started, I could only do about 25 of one of the ab exercises. Yesterday I did 47! Nearly double! I was SO excited! And I feel like my legs must be getting stronger too. And my cardio. I did my 4 1/2 mile run to Stone Canyon this morning. Usually I am having to really fight for it about the half way mark as the whole first half of the run is slightly uphill. But today I wasn't fighting for it at all. It was so much easier than normal! And I really didn't even feel the first waves of fatigue until I was just outside our neighborhood again. I even ran some extra distance on the end! I was definitely feeling it by the time I got back home...but by then I had run a fantastic run and at a really great pace too! I think it's working. I'm still not skinny. No real change at all there. Damnit! But I'll get there. I am feeling very encouraged tonight with it!

I guess that is about all that is happening, Just business and what not. We're moving at the speed of life around here! Catch us if you can!