Thursday, December 11, 2008

Adventures in Parenting

We had our big meeting with the pediatrician yesterday concerning Max and the possibility that he might have ADD. It would be putting it quite mildly to say that that appointment was a disaster. Max was extremely aggitated and upset over the thought of being diagnosed with ADD. So upset, that he developed a rash all over his neck and jawline...huge red splotches. Quite a stress response, for sure. I've NEVER seen that one before. He informed the doctor and Chris and I that ADD is a disease of "stupid people" and that he would have no part of it. DOES not have it. WON'T consider treatment in ANY shape form or fashion. He has everything "under control" and is perfectly capable of executing some fantastic grades here....without one bit of help from any of us. Awesome. The more we talked, the more upset he became. And I think the more convinced our pediatrician became that there might be a problem. That said...Max was less than cooperative. There is NO way he will meet us halfway (he's perfect you know) and NO WAY he will entertain the thought that he is anything less than perfect. No amount of discussion and reassuring and defining from the doctor would sway him. It was a lovely and fun visit. One of those where you really want to jump up and down and grab your kid and say "Oh yeah! This one's MINE!" NOT!!!!!! We are no closer to making progress with Max than we were a month ago. It's frustrating, to say the very least. The new plan of action...since Max is "totally in control" of things, is to totally step back and let him do his thing. He will either dazzle the heck out of us...or he will fail spectacularly. No more prompts. No more reminders. No help. He's got it all under control and needs NONE of that from us. So he says. Tonight, I told him to get his guitar and music up out of the living room and put away. He sat down and began to stack up his music. I went on to tuck in Clara and read her stories. When I came back downstairs, the guitar and all of his junk that goes with it was still sitting there. So I called his little "in control" hiney right back out of that bed he had settled into and asked what the deal was. I just wanted to know if he had had an ADD moment where he failed to concentrate on the task of cleaning up or if it was just an outright act of defiance. Because, believe me...I will gladly step right up and handle acts of outright defiance. There was an audible "Ummmmmm???" Because he was pretty much screwed either way. His response was "Let me think about that and get back to you." Nice. Very nice. Honestly...this whole step back thing and let him "be in control"...not so much for me. I've a short fuse for screw ups. And watching them unfold SO many times in a day with acute predictability....well. Suffice it to say that I, myself will probably need a lot of intensive therapy before this journey is over. At this point I am all for checking myself into the looney bin. I think a few weeks spaced out on some meds might be just what the doctor ordered! A nice padded room. A steady cocktail of sedatives. Some nice sitting around and playing checkers under the trees in a warm afternoon breeze. It's calling to me. And so...there's the update on life around the Roberts house. It's a wild ride here for the next few weeks. Pray for us!

2 comments:

Wendy Younce said...

When you check yourself in, let me know. Your description is calling my name. I think zoning out for a few days would be very relaxing and rewarding to my attitude.

mandy said...

i am so sorry things went so poorly! i am going to pray that you are able to step back and let max do his thing...and God willing max will see it all for himself.