This weekend was just full of adventure and aggravation. The latest being yardwork. Chris has been complaining lately that the weeds are overtaking the yard. I told him I would have a word with our sorry gardner and find out what the problem was! LOL! While I'm at it I need to put in a word with our sorry maid, our sorry chef and our sorrylaundry lady! I mentioned to him that our pool boy was doing a pretty sucky job here lately too. He just smiled and disappeared in that sly little way that screams "I am AVOIDING my pool duties!!!". Anyway. A friend of mine told me that her landscaper recommends just torching the weeds. Apparently she crawls around with her Creme Brulee torch and burns the suckers to death. Now...this may surprise, if not shock you...but I don't own a Creme Brulee torch. I'm not even sure I can accurately spell Creme Brulee...and I'm pretty absolutely darned certain that I cannot COOK IT! So...no cook. No torch! But my friend knows this about me and goes on to tell me that they actually sell a weed torch at Home Depot. And I...trying to be helpful and hoping to ease Chris' mind about the weed situation, passes this information on to him. He heads right out on Saturday and purchases this ever so handy weed torch and proceeds to have quite a good time torching everything he can get his little flame on! Now...this WAS a good thing. Really. He was finding it to be rather therapeutic...and he needs some therapeutic devices from time to time. He even made the mention last night that he had a lot to do, but was going to have a beer and torch some weeds first. And of course I encouraged him in that endeavor!(anything to give the poor yard lady a break!) However. A new day has dawned and I have seen the light. Or rather...what is left of my yard. There WERE two very healthy and happy bulbine plants right off of my patio there. When I went out just a bit ago this is what I found instead.
I had just two words for him at that point. "Explain yourself." It was an accident he says. And I say to him "TWICE?!!!", because the one right next to it also torched to death. After much stammering and lame attempts to explain how he did this he just tells me that that plant is extremely "highly combustible". Hmmmmmm. I have to tell you that I am NOT buying that really. However...I will say this. I now have total and complete control of the weed torch. I will simply handle all weed extermination myself from here on out. Same with the house cleaning and laundry and ironing. And everything else that seems to fall into the endless job description of "mom".
1 comment:
Ok, I was in stitches reading this one. I realize why I now try harder these days NOT to give advice... even weed advice it appears can go awry. At first, as I read about the beer and the therapy... I thought oh... he sounds like my hubby maybe this was a good suggestion. As I read on I realize... hmmm... maybe not so good! So sorry about your plants... but at least in our experience... this does keep the weeds down longer and the biggest benefit is I am no longer pulling Arizona thistles out of my numb fingers. Hope it works out better next time!
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