Lonliness

I am finding life in the desert, although very beautiful, to be very lonely. I miss my friends and my life I left behind to come here. I was never lacking for people to see or call and things to do and places to go. Here, life is different. I get my kids off to school in the morning and then find myself with just time. And no meaningful and good way to fill it. Oh, I go to the gym and my arms are shaping up nicely....but I am SO missing companionship. I miss morning phone calls from other stay at home moms....comparing days and husbands and adventures with our children. I miss running into people I know and play dates and church functions. It is partly my fault. I don't suppose I make friends all that easily. Something you forget when you are surrounded by friends that you have already made...but I do make good friends when I make them. My friends tend to be the very long term type. Not just here and there friends. I have a group of friends that I continue to keep in touch with ever since high school. 4 of them regularly. And we all live in different parts of the world and have completely different lives....yet we still stay in touch. I miss having someone to laugh with and pick up the phone and complain to and someone to suggest we go to dinner or lunch with. It isn't that I haven't run across some nice folks here....I have. But I have not clicked with anyone yet. And there is a huge void in my life where friends and activities used to be. I contacted the Mom's club representative this morning to get some information about that. She wasn't home....a sign? I did leave a message. I think it makes Chris crazy that I have no foundation and complain when he works impossibly long hours or is gone out of town for days at a time. He is the only person I have here that I know and can chat easily with and I miss him terribly when he is gone. It's like the void doubles then. So my new prayer is that God will send me a friend...not a fair weather occasional friend...but one who is there for the long haul. Someone who clicks with me. Someone who loves me and misses me and thinks of me through the day as different situations arise. I had some awesome people in my life in Pensacola...most of who I still keep up with and think about and pray for. Friends who will be dear to my heart forever and whom I still find my thoughts drawn to throughout the day....wandering what they are up to, what their kids are doing, etc. I just miss it so much. I don't have any regrets about moving here...I just miss my life I left behind. We have a nice life here...a beautiful home, family close by again, gorgeous scenery, good schools...but amidst all of that...a vast loneliness. I guess I am in a depressed place right now...but this too shall pass. Instead of focusing on what is missing, I will focus on what is not...on all the blessings that God has poured out on us in this place. I know that in time the friends will come...however...patience is not one of the blessings that God saw fit to pour out upon me yet!