Gifts From the Ghetto

Yesterday I did another portrait session for the American Children's Photography Charity Guild. We do portraits for families of children with terminal diseases. It is all volunteer and is totally free to these families. They get a free session, as well as 20 to 30 printed pictures in varying sizes...all at no cost to them. Yesterday's child was a 16 year old boy with very advanced Muscular Dystrophy. As I was driving around looking for their home (I could NOT find their house number!) I was worrying and thinking to myself how small and run down these homes were and how I probably was not going to have a lot of room to work. After the third pass down the street I FINALLY locate the house number and realize that it's not a tiny house I am walking up to...but a duplex...TWO homes in what I already considered a tiny residence. And when I walked inside it was indeed itty bitty...very, very little room to work. Especially considering the fact that the child was in a large wheelchair and we had that to work around as well. So I improvised some equipment and made some adjustments to my original "portrait plan" and began to shoot pictures of this sweet and delightful family. While I was there I noticed that their tiny little dining area off the kitchen was full...full of a hospital bed with an I.V. drip bag hanging from a hook in the ceiling and then the only other space there in that little corner of the room would be taken up by his wheelchair. Someone had taken great pains to paint the ceiling above his bed in that little dining alcove like a night sky with a solar system and stars so that he would have something to gaze at. He could no longer turn, or even fully support his own head. This child has struggled with this disease his entire life. The earliest pictures of him around the house as just a little guy of two-ish or earlier show him with a tracheotomy in his troat and a wheelchair. It seemed such a very, very sad situation to me. Yet this family was so smiley and happy and adored this kid to death. His older sister had come home to be a part of the picture and they all laughed and joked with him and he joked right back. It was a home filled to busting with love. I initially saw this family as somewhat "destitute" and in a place of poverty that I have never in my life come close to knowing (though I thought I had before yesterday). His mom made a comment that since they had become so much more financially stable over the past few years she was exploring some arts and crafts hobbies. And I realized that this life was actually a big improvement from what they had previously known. And I was just struck as I left there by how unbelievably blessed I am. How completely over the top my life must seem compared to theirs. The things that I take for granted and NEVER give the slightest thought to would be pure luxury for these people. Right down to the furniture I sit on, or the car I drive, or the floors that I mop, or even the air conditioner that I run to keep cool. It is a different world and I am seeing it all in such different perspective today. We have SO MUCH. So much, that at times I think we cease to even see it or recognize it. I don't even know anyone that is not so richly blessed beyond reason it isn't funny. And I know that I am guilty of grumbling over what I don't have and thinking that one day...when we have a little more money maybe we'll do this or that or have this or have that. I'm on a roll here...but it was so life changing to be there. So as I sat sipping my coffee in the front living room this morning taking in my house I realize that I pretty much live in a palace. My home is beautiful and I am really seeing that this morning and really, really, really appreciating that. I am thankful BEYOND what anyone can imagine that my kids are healthy and have been spared the type of life this child has had. I am taken aback by our excessiveness here in our home and realize that my children have known treats and treasures and blessings way far and beyond what they have ever needed to know. I am so thankful and grateful for the opportunity to volunteer with this organization...to be able to meet these people and share a few moments of their life...to be able to give a gift, just because I can. I have said from the start that this photography talent can only come from God...it's not me. There has never been a course or a class of any kind...just me...and that's not enough! I know without a doubt God is behind that lens every time I pick up the camera. I wanted to be a servant with that talent and use it wisely and bless others through it. Only it's ME who is blessed over and over again. In ways that I could have never imagined. Every one of these ACPCG shoots have sent me to the ghetto areas...to very poor families with very sick children...and every time I go to supposedly give this family a gift of a portrait session...It is I who receive the gift...I who receive more blessing than I could ever anticipate. I am a different person today than I was before my first volunteer session back in February. In four months God has led me in directions that have completely opened my eyes and my heart and challenged everything that I know in life. I am thankful beyond words to be able to be a part of it. It's let me see life so differently from the very, very sheltered life that I lead. Life is so good here in the desert...so much better than I need or deserve. God has provided so unbelievably for me and my family. There is no comprehending the depth of his gifts...seen and unseen. I am humble today and seeing life anew here in the desert.