Chris' Adventures in the land of Gobble

I just got this e-mail from my dear husband who is off on, yet another work adventure. This time, to Istanbul, Turkey. Now...when I traveled abroad with him last year, he tended to make me nervous in his adventursomeness (is that a word?). Believe me...there were a few tense moments traveling with him in France and Italy with our three small children. At one point, I swore I would NEVER travel anywhere with him again...EVER! Anyway. I got this from him this morning...and it was just too funny not to share...and just so much like my Chris! So...on his behalf...I am posting his entry here with Chris as my guest blogger! Enjoy!

Got taken for a ride.

I was picked up at the Grand Bazaar at eleven in the morning and the driver offerred to drive me to the airport after checking out of the hotel. He asked me the flight time and since it was 4 hours until taking off he suggested a "slightly" longer but more scenic route. Though a tingling sensation told me otherwise, I agreed to his proposal.

The driver's name was Umit which rhymes with Zoom It and he quickly decided that he and I are very good friends. At one point he stopped the car and asked me to sit in the front seat so we could talk more freely. He told me that Ramadan had started on Wednesday and it means that he cannot eat or smoke in daylight hours. I asked him if he could drink and he replied that he is Islamic and he is not allowed to drink alcohol but can drink water. He asked me if I drink and I told him that yes I drink and my favorite is red wine. He said that he likes white wine better but that his favorite is Raki (90 proof local stuff). I raised my eyebrow and he put his finger to his lips and said "shhh". Then he rolled down the window and lit up a cigarette. Umit informed me that there are 3000 mosques in Istanbul. Each time we passed one he averted his eyes and lowered his cigarette below the windowsill. Umit also repeatedly asked me to recall his name which I could not decide was because he wanted to be sure to that I permanently imprint our friendship in my mind or if "Umit" is Turkish for something completely hilarious but totally inappropriate.

For the first half hour we hugged the shoreline of the Bosphorous in what I am pretty sure is the opposite direction from the airport. I pointed this out to him but he did not think it was a big problem since we are great friends and all that and commented that I had "plenty time - no problem". I remember reading somewhere that the Mediterranean translation of "no problem" means the complete opposite. I asked him to stop at an ATM because I was concerned I did have enough cash to cover the fare. After completing the transaction he asked me how much money I took out. Then he good-heartedly slapped my leg and told me that since it is Ramadan I should give him a good tip.

An hour and a half after leaving the hotel we arrived at the airport.
The fare on the meter was 116YTL ($90) which is about twice what it should have been if not for the detour around the Bosphorous to the Black Sea. But then he pushed a button and the fare changed to 180YTL ($130). I called BS on that and he told me that since I was given a city tour that a flat fee was applied to the total. We argued about this for a minute but of course I got nowhere.

To make things worse he had convienently pulled the taxi past the terminal drop-off zone so that I could not flag the police. Finally, he asked for his good tip. I told him that the best tip I have is to take the bus when in Istanbul. Then I grabbed my stuff and dodged all the incoming traffic back to the terminal.

By the way the taxi number was 34 TBU 16. I wonder if it was the same as Trevor's magician buddy (who turned a 100YTL bill into a 1YTL bill in front of his eyes) or if all of the drivers in Istanbul are so friendly.

At least I got a receipt for my experience.

Chris Roberts