You Go Girl!!!!

So, there is a story behind this post. It all started with Chris' trip to Costco and his purchase of a gift that rocked my whole world. Now, you are probably sitting there wondering what in the world the man purchased that could possibly change everything? Was it jewelry? After all, diamonds ARE a girl's best friend! Was it electronics? Patio furniture? Oh the treasures one can find at Costco! The gift? A heart rate monitor! At first I thought...oh...a gadget! And how very Chris. And the subtle "you are getting fat but I still love you" message was not lost for a moment on me either! This is my SECOND heart rate monitor. The first I determined was a pain in the butt...not to mention very stingy with calories burned...so I figured it was pretty much just off and inaccurate. So Chris brings me this one with a chest strap. VERY accurate they say. So I strapped the thing on this morning as I went off to bond with my treadmill. I figured I would run my 4 miles or so, log about 600 calories and get on with my day. About a half mile into the run I realized my husband wanted to kill me. There was no doubt about it. He programed my heart rate monitor to only start the calorie burn count when my heart rate hit 90 something...fair enough. A half mile in I realized I was NEVER going to get any calories burned at my standard 10 minute mile pace. So I upped the ante and ramped up my speed. After a few minutes I upped it again. And then again. It took forever to start turning over any calories to speak of. Usually the treadmill says I burn about 150 calories per mile. LOVELY! Can I just say that it took 3 miles before I burned my first 150 calories according to my monitor? Oh...I was SO not happy. I was actually quite angry. Angry that the treadmill was so off. And that I had put so much faith in those useless numbers it teased me with. I was angry when I realized just how much harder it was to burn any significant calories and get my heart rate up where it counted. And I was angry when I realized that this was probably a HUGE part of why, instead of LOSING 3 pounds I have managed to GAIN 10. Oh, the emotions! Running at this new crazy speed...shaving more than a minute off of my mile time, I was ready to quit around the 3 mile mark. At that point I was pretty sure that I was about to meet Jesus himself as well. Well, I'm ready for that...and resting in my salvation, I pushed ahead just waiting for "the light" to come for me. About that time I hit what I believe to be a runner's high. Now I don't really believe in runner's high....that, "oh I could run forever" kind of high. For me it's more like an "instant death will be temporarily delayed" kind of high. And I ran and ran. I was discouraged by the slow build of the calorie bank for sure. But I ran and ran on. I kept thinking of my friend who told me she can't meet me at the gym because she eats donuts on Saturday mornings. Lots of them! DONUTS for crying out loud! And of my sister, who recently lost a lot of weight. When I asked her how she did it...what she cut out...she replied "Oh, I pretty much cut out everything'. Oh, okay. Well that's just lovely. Depressed, depressed, depressed. I thought of my friend who just had a baby in December...and another who just had one in January. Neither of them look like they have ever had ONE,let alone their third and fourth! While I, on the other hand look like I just gave birth to triplets, a couple of hours ago! I recalled the words of one of the instructors at the gym who told me I needed to challenge myself on my runs more by adding some intervals and hills to my run. I listened. But not really. Well...not at all. After all...she's like super woman. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, literally. Has 4 kids. Looks like she just graduated from high school yesterday and still has her cheerleader body she had then, and is so strong it's scary. She's HIGHLY energetic and motivated (to put it mildly) and is forever prodding her classes to jump just a little higher and push just a little harder. I always feel like lead weight leaping up on my step as I watch her practically burst through the ceiling as she leaps up on hers! She's a bit unattainable goal- wise. I counted it as just being her INCREDIBLY lucky genes. Why I couldn't have gotten such skinny genes...well, I'm still taking that one up with the Big Guy upstairs! But today I had to acknowledge that I think she just might have been absolutely right. And I kept hearing the immortal words of my friend Jenny swooshing through my ears..."Am I skinny YET?!!!!" And then...instead of finding myself walking through the pearly gates on streets of gold, I found myself crossing the 7 mile mark. That's right....7 miles! I did not die. Thought I would. But I'm still here. Apparently the Lord could not get my "Welcome Home" party organized that quickly and so I am still here. Calories burned? The treadmill said 1080. But REALITY said....just over 600. Oh this is going to be a long, long road. And so much harder than I imagined. But hey. Game on! YOU GO GIRL! As I was cooling down on the treadmill that song "Don't cha" came on. The one that goes "Don't ya wish your girlfriend was HOT like me?..." and so on. I almost flipped off the back of the treadmill I got to laughing so hard. It was quite a mental picture. Oh, I was hot alright! Hot and sweaty, dripping and stinking...fat and flabby and exhausted. Oh yeah. It was a pretty picture. But...like the Kellogs commercial (or SOME cereal commercial) says...I am one mile stronger today. Actually, I am 7 miles stronger and 600 calories lighter. But hey...who's counting!