Getting Ready

Today, I am getting ready to go to Coast Rica. Well...I've BEEN getting ready. For weeks now, I've been planning and packing in my head...making mental notes of all the hundreds of little details that need to be dealt with. Wrapping up loose ends and seeing started tasks through to the end. Despite a major change in plans of who would be caring for my children in my absence, I think I'm nearly ready. The new plans have been put into place. Pages upon pages of directions and phone numbers have been typed up. Children's suitcases have been packed. Along with mine. Chris has yet to start the packing process. He's famous for waiting until the last minute! Passports have been gathered up. Letters of authorization to seek medical treatment have been written. I feel like I have a handle on it all here in these last 16 hours or so that I am stateside. I'm looking forward to this trip...despite the fact that I am not a great traveler. I am looking forward to the break. The timing of these conferences is superb since I am just coming off the incredibly busy Christmas season! It's a wonderful and welcome break after two months of being insanely busy. I am SO looking forward to taking pictures of anything other than two year olds! And Christmas balls. And the desert. I have LIVED in the desert this Christmas season. Once I return from Paradise, it will be time to seriously help my kids crank out their science fair projects (oh, joy of my life!) and Ben's costume project for his upcoming competition. Before we know it, spring break will be here...and that's a return to the beautiful sunny beaches of San Diego for this clan! Then I've been asked to do the pics again for Clara's dance studio. I'm very excited about that because it was such a blast last year! My wheels are already starting to turn with ideas for how we will shoot this year's dancers. And there all sorts of other special and neat things on my plate when I return. On a sad note, I know that week that I return I will be doing a maternity session for a Now I Lay Me Down to sleep family. They know that their precious little boy will not be able to stay with them here, but is destined for the arms of Jesus, perhaps even before he ever takes a breath. These sessions, I think, are the hardest to do. At least for me. Somehow...while that precious little one is all tucked up so snug in their mother's womb...it just always seems to unreal and impossible that the doctors can know already that there is no hope. That it will end in tears and loss. I am always amazed at the courage of these mothers. At their committment to see it all through. To persevere to the end and bring forth the child they have been told they will not have the opportunity to see grow up. There is such a sense of resolve about them and a strength I can't even describe. I find the sessions to be a little bit stressful for me, because I don't want them to be disappointed with their images. I know they are out to capture and preserve every single little detail and memory of this child that they can. I recognize how significant this step in their journey with this baby is. These sessions count like no other ones. And when these sessions are over, sometimes I feel so guilty for having been blessed, over and over again, with three beautiful and healthy children. It's certainly a perspective setter! Anyway....enough dwelling on that! So much to look forward to in this new year. I KNOW that this is really going to be an exciting year for our family and I can't wait to see what it holds for us! I am nearly giddy with anticipation.

And on a last note. I walked my Oscar today...four and a half miles. And can I just say that it was beyond gloriously beautiful out there today. The scenery simply took my breath away and I walked in a total state of awe and appreciation of this vast and beautiful desert that I have been so blessed to live in these past four years. Seriously...the best four years of my entire life!

And on another last note....I walked behind an older couple today. I have often passed them on the street as they walk together. And what always stands out in my mind is how they always hold hands as they walk together. Always. And my heart always does a leap at the sight and as I look at them, I can't help but wonder if Chris will also hold my hand like that one day. And walk with me, And just seem to enjoy being along for the ride in life, by my side, as I am by his? I'm not sure what the power in the gesture is, but it moves me so much. And in that hand holding, I see such love, and treasuring of the other spouse. I see protectiveness of them. And a kind of sweet ownership. I see joy and happiness and tenderness and a quiet comfort that comes from knowing that you have belonged to someone, and they to you, for a very long time. I see youth, and promise, and hope. I see faithfulness and loyalty. And I see friendship. And unity and solidarity and acceptance. And I see love that is not easily swayed by the winds of the world. Wow...pretty sappy and nostalgic of me, huh?! All that...in just holding hands?! Well...anyway. It moves me. That's all.

And on that sappy and completely unrelated to absolutely ANYTHING at all note...I have more packing to do! Back in a week!