When it rains, it pours!

While Clarabelle is on the mend....finally, Ben is having his turn in the doctor's office. I decided to take him in today as he has had a persistent cough for weeks now. Not a bad cough...just persistent. I figured we were having allergy issues--which would be nothing new for this family. But when we got there the Dr. said he sounded really bad, but only on one side of his lungs. So, thinking he had walking pneumonia or Valley Fever, we were sent down the hall for a chest x-ray. Surprisingly, the chest x-rays looked okay...not perfect, but not horrible either. So, it was determined that he has some sort of microplasm infection and was placed on the same strong antibiotic as Clara was on...and not a cheap one either! I figured up that Clara's little respiratory crisis this past week cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $300. Ben is up to $70 so far. We will see how his crisis ends up in the end once we see if we have to return in 10 days or not. Kids can be REALLY expensive! Gotta love em!

I just carried Clara up to bed. She looked so sweet and peaceful as she slept in my arms here and just snuggled right into me as I carried her up the stairs. It made me think that I can't remember the last time that I carried my boys up to bed, asleep in my arms. I wonder if I will know it is the last time when it happens with Clara. Will I recognize that she is outgrowing the option of being carried up to bed while she snoozes away the night? Will I treasure it and commit every tiny detail of that last time to memory? I did know it was the last time when she last nursed. We had had a great deal of trouble in those last few months of nursing and I knew that it was time to end it. My third bout of mastitis left no doubt in my mind that it was time to move on. Clara was just over a year old. I remember sitting there just gazing into her eyes and holding her little hand and watching her smile up at me all happy and milky and unaware that she would never do this again. I knew she would never do it again...so I tried to commit each moment to memory...so that I might be able close my eyes and feel that moment one more time. I was not too sad about it since I had had SO much trouble to that point. The mastitis bouts were horrible and scary. Still, it was a little bit sad to know that this phase in our lives was coming to an end. I worried that it might affect our bond...though now I know that I shouldn't have. That child is SO attached to me. We are attached at the hip. Noone loves me like Clara does..noone. She lets me know it each and every moment of the day. She is my little chatterbox that follows me everywhere. She talks to me throughout the day and constantly tells me that she loves me...and that I love her, too. The way she says it is so sweet...the way she pronounces me, Mama...it is precious. I hope I never forget it. I want to remember how she says my name. I want to remember how she calls the toilet paper "pull tater". I want to remember how she calls her princess goggles for the pool her "gobbles". I loved the way she calls herself "Daddy's grill" instead of Daddy's girl. And I love the way she smiles when she says all of these things. She has the most beautiful smile. It is just sweet and fresh...and her blue eyes just seem to sparkle when she turns that big, beautiful smile on me. It melts my heart. She is such a gift. All of my children are and in such different and wonderful ways. So many times I wish I had slowed down and enjoyed my boys more. Just soaked up the little things, you know. Instead, we were always just looking for the next milestone and the next big step for them. Hurry, hurry, hurry...bring on the next phase. I am really cherishing Clara and her little phases. I feel like so many of them are just too short. I know that all of those milesones will come soon enough, will come whether or not I help it along. I know that soon enough, I will come to the startling realization that it has been a year since I last carried my sleeping baby up to her bed because she outgrew me. I just want to cherish and remember it. I hope that when I am an old lady with nothing but my memories, THAT is one of the memories I will have. I want to remember what it felt like to hold and rock my babies and have them lay all sleepy and trusting in my arms. Don't get me wrong. I hope I'll have TONS of memories when I am old and gray...I just hope that is one of them. Children are precious and I am thankful every day that we have ours.

Not much else in life going on around here. Chris is in San Francisco tonight. I am sitting around...catching up on my e-mail and blog. I am feeling thankful for my many, many blessings. Life is most definitely good here in the desert.