My sexy is missing...

So...I'm in my bodypump class on Tuesday morning (that's a weightlighting class, for all those who are just clueless on that little point) and it's a new release, so I've been getting to know all of the new music. Most of the tunes on this track though, I don't know and have never really heard. Only two I think are familiar. Anyway. It's tricep time (which....my triceps are just a whole other blog entry in and of themselves!...I'm SO mad at them!), and these triceps just happen to be a little more painful for some reason I think this time. Anyway...to distract from the pain I started focusing on the words. And this track is set to Justin Timberlake's "Get Your Sexy On"...though our instructor likes to call it "Get your sexy arms". Either way...I'm out of luck! My triceps just seem to be expereincing "Failure to Thrive" syndrome I've decided. It's the only plausible explanation. I am there...I do the exercises...they hurt...so I know it's getting to that rotten little muscle...and yet...there they are...all flappy. Sigh...honestly...and this is what I really, really think...I turned 35 in September...but I think my body is dyslexic (my eyes escaped this tragedy thank goodness!) and I think my body has made a reversal of the numbers and now thinks that it is 53. That would explain just too much. The flappy, non-responsiveness to muscle torture...the saggy situation in other unfortunate places...the middle aged spread that just seems to be happening regardless of every single effort and tactic that I try. My bones and muscles ache and holler daily...I'm telling you...body dyslexia. Now...the good news...is that IF it ever switches back...say, in my 70's...then I'll go from being like 72...to 27. I could end up being the babe of the nursing home. Oh yeah. Get myself some perky boobs, some tatoos, some piercings...maybe some roller blades? Something to look forward to. In the meantime...I continue to battle the bulge (and the flaps, and the saggies, and...well the list just goes on). But back to my original point...the new track says to "Get your sexy on." Now...what exactly does that mean? I mean really. Cuz if there's a sexy suit that you can just slip into and...Voila! Sexy mama!? Then I need one. Somehow I doubt there's one out there....so that leaves me back at wondering how the heck one puts your sexy on. Is that like...clothing? Lingerie? Bathing suits (heaven forbid!), toenail polish? Bottom line here is...I think mine is just missing. Whatever it is...I'm pretty sure I don't have one. I've given this a lot of thought...and I think I'm pretty much over it. After all...when one is wise and 53 like myself, then sexy looks a lot different than when you are young and obnoxious. I imagine that just being on my own two 50 something feet, having no woman baldness starting and having my own original set of teeth and being in relatively good health for a 53 year old is pretty darned sexy. So there, Mr. Timberlake! Hah! And so...I am off again this morning to the gym. I will work and sweat and shape and sculpt these muscles of mine (whatever good it may or may not be doing). And I will work on those nasty little triceps of mine which are just bent on being wings right now instead of sleekly sculpted triceps. Perhaps I will try to remind said triceps that God did not create me as a pteradactyl...I am not a flyer...but just a regular old girl. Hence...enough with the stupid wing want to be's! So...for all of you who have your sexy and can put it on today...well, good for you. As for me...I'm off to get pumped!