Beautiful

Today I photographed a baby for Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. He was SO beautiful. Breathtaking almost. I was so nervous because I had to go to the funeral home to do this and it has been over a week already. This little baby was killed in utero at 35 weeks when his parents were involved in a car accident. Another vehicle was trying to evade an officer in a traffic stop and hit them head on at high speed. It was a terrible accident. So much was going through my head. I had no idea what to expect. And then I walked into that room and there was that precious little angel all bundled up in a sweet blue blanket. He wore little denim overalls and a baby blue knitted cap with a pom pom on top. He was just a precious little sight. And I was just struck again by how tragic this whole situation was and by just how horrific this must be for his parents. To know that their precious little one, just weeks away from meeting him for the first time, was snatched right out of their lives in one single tragic moment. The consequence of the actions of a criminal. Unknown to them...yet now forever locked into their memories because of the loss they suffered at his hands. I was told that the mom has two broken femurs from the accident, several broken ribs and extensive internal bruising. And while the pain must be so intense, I am certain that her pain in her legs and ribs and body is NOTHING compared to the pain in her heart. As I looked at that precious little boy today I thought how sad it was that those parents never heard him cry or take even his first breath. They never saw him smile or heard him coo. That mom will never hear his gurgly baby sounds or know what it feels like to have him suckle at her breast. Her arms must ache so with the emptiness knowing that they cannot be filled now with her first child, her son. Oh, this mom is in all of my thoughts and prayers tonight. Her road to recovery is so long ahead of her. She will have to relearn to walk again. Most likely, she will never be the same again. That one fateful moment changed her life in more ways than we can ever comprehend. Tomorrow I will go across town and meet mom at her bedside while she holds her son once more...for the last time. She will hold him in her arms and try to memorize what the weight of him in her arms feels like. She will look at his precious face and try to memorize every single detail of it. She will kiss his little toes, because that is what I am told she had been dreaming of doing. And she will say her last goodbyes. And I have the honor of being there. The honor of capturing those last fleeting moments of togetherness before they have to surrender his little body. Pray for this family. For strength and healing. And pray for me too. That I can do this right. That I can capture the memories that they are so desperate to preserve.