R is for....Rain!

So...this is day two of the rain. And today the fallin has been constant! My backyard is starting to puddle right up! I'm not a big fan of the rain. I like a good thunderstorm. But this gray stuff that sets in and the constant drizzle...not so much for me! My seasonal affective disorder just wigs out after a couple of days! I NEED the sunshine! Clara, on the other hand, was thrilled to see the rain coming down minus the lightning and drama and quickly donned her raincoat and boots and headed out to splash a bit. I snapped these of her...that child is one of my very favorite subjects to capture. I loved watching her play out there. I would have snapped more...but then I figured the rain probably is NOT so good on my thousand dollar camera! So here, she is...my rain lovin baby girl!

T is for....

THANKFUL! I am SO VERY thankful right now. Thankful for my wonderful and sweet family. Thankful for awesome and fun friends. Thankful for my business...even if it has been totally nuts. Thankful for the talent that God has given me and some wonderful avenues to really use it and give it back into the world. We spent Thanksgiving with wonderful friends this year. And Chris's mom and stepdad of course! We threw out the traditional cuisine and had ourselves a Thanksgiving Fiesta! On the menu? Turkey fajitas and grilled vegetables (which were so, so so yummy!), chicken enchiladas, tortilla soup, tacos, refried beans, black beans, spanish rice, mango margaritas...and for desert?! PUMPKIN CHEESECAKE (to die for!) and regular cheesecake and pumpkin pie with coolwhip....YUM, YUM and SUPER YUM! It was delicious! A feast of all feasts! We had such a blessed afternoon with our friends. Enjoying our families, sharing stories and laughter...it was an awesome day! I had someone cancel an appointment the day after Thanksgiving...so I actually had TWO whole days off from pictures! That was awesome! And I went back to picture taking today with a fresh new attitude and perspective...which I needed...because, quite frankly, I was growing rather weary of the season! I finished my two sessions this afternoon (both were running nearly an hour late)...and then got called into the hospital. UMC had a baby coming off of life support. So I jumped in the car and headed off for yet another session. It hit me on the way to the hospital how hard this was going to be for this family. Not that it's easy for ANY family. EVER. But I noticed as I flipped through the radio stations that many were playing Christmas music and carols...and all the stores are bustling with folks Christmas shopping and there is much merriment and a sense of joy in the air right now as the Christmas season approaches. But for these moms who will have empty arms this season...there will not be that joy or feeling of celebration. As I drove to the hospital I thought about our wonderful Thanksgiving and how we all enjoyed it so much and had such a wonderful time. And then I thought of this family that I was going to meet at the hospital...and realized that they had most likely spent their entire Thanksgiving watching their new baby...so full of promise and hope...watching that baby fight for his life. And while we ate turkey and laughed and counted our blessings...this young couple was grappling with the decision of pulling life support and sparing their child more suffering...or continuing to watch him decline and die before their eyes. It was a sobering thought as I drove in. And then I met that family...so sweet...sitting there cradling this precious little cherub baby boy. He was still with them. Still breathing. Still hanging in there. Though as the session progressed he drew fewer and fewer rattling little breaths. And I was just so thankful right then. Thankful that my little ones were all safe and healthy at home. But mostly thankful that I could just be there and be able to capture those last sweet and tender moments of a mother with her baby boy. To capture the little kisses she put on his head and the little caresses she gave his angelic little face. To be able to preserve the look of love of love in her eyes when she gazed at him and to record the way his chunky little feet nestled just right in his Daddy's hand. Oh, I was so thankful for so many things as I stood in that tiny little room this afternoon. I am thankful now for more blessings than I will EVER be able to count! Blessings that I don't even realize right now. I am thankful for family. And for our wonderful friends. I am thankful for all of the support I receive both as a photographer and as a friend, as a wife, and as a mother. I am thankful that God led us here to this desert...that we could experience life here as never before. And as I squeezed in a last minute run tonight...I was so thankful for the beautiful sun that set right before my eyes on the way out...and for the enormous golden orange harvest moon that rose up over the mountains on my way back home from that run. God is SO amazing...so generous...so good. And life is so very good...even here in the desert of Tucson!

M is for....

MOTIVATION!!!!!! Chris informed me tonight there is more travel ahead for work. I sighed...rather loudly and asked "Where to this time?" And my husband says "Hawaii". And then he uttered the sweetest words I have ever heard come out of his mouth. He said "I was wondering if you would like to come along...you know...6 days on the big island." And I like SO totally imagined doing a backflip right there in the middle of the desert (he was out helping me on a shoot). I would have done one for real...only I can't...so there's that little obstacle! So I just imagined doing one. I promptly accepted his proposal, of course. I am HAWAII-bound in January! HOOOOOOORAY!!!!! And so...I had instant motivation to lose that pesky few pounds that have been clinging on to my body here the past few months! There are ten....count them TEN that need to go. And I am ON A MISSION! YIPPPEEEEE! So excited here! Can you tell?! More details to come! Stay tuned! So...here's my first accountability marker...this morning I weighed 156.6 pounds. Bummer. Got to get that down. It's countdown to Aloha now so the pounds have got to go! 145 would be awesome! But we shall see!

T is for tiny

This was from my little guy last night. So, so tiny. So, so early. I have been truly facsinated by the photos I did of him last night. In the light of day, as I look, I can so clearly see his beautiful, tiny features. His little eyes, still fused shut. And two perfect tiny nostrils in a perfect and tiny little button nose. His little toes are just exquisitely formed...as were his tiny fingers. As I look more at my pictures I can see that his skin was not really formed either, and so I can see his entire vein network there. It's almost like a glimpse of something you'd see on the Discovery channel...only it was real life. This little baby is just so delicate and tiny and intricate. It has really brought home even more for me what a miracle life truly is. That our God is so amazing in how He set forth creation and equipped our meager bodies to bring new life into the world. Lord, thank you for the opportunity to glimpse this tiny creation of yours and for the insight gained from it.

And She Rides!

Our Clarabelle has mastered a new skill! After learning that one of our neighbor's little boys has learned to ride his bike without training wheels, it got our little diva to thinking. Now...that alone was not enough to inspire her. Interest her, yes...but not enough to make it happen. Then, she saw her brother's riding on the other neighbors little scooter/bike thing that looks an awful lot like her Dad's...and she too wanted to ride. I explained to her that you had to be able to ride a two wheel bike in order to ride the scooter. Well....THAT did it. She looked me right in the eye and said "Well then. Take my training wheels off." And so I did...thinking to myself, "Here we go again". I've taken these wheels off a dozen times it seems. The whole experience usually lasts all of about 3 minutes and ends with her screaming and yelling and being mad at ME because she can't do it. So I braced myself for the inevitable rant that was sure to come...and then was just pleasantly surprised when after only 3 short laps around our little circle, my girl just literally rode off into the sunset! She was BEAMING she was so proud of herself! And so...another success for our baby girl. One more step farther away from being our baby and a definite leap into the land of the big girl. She let us know that we can sell her training wheels! And so...FOR SALE...two gently used training wheels, low miles, great comfort and support, a symbol of what is behind us now! Thank you Lord for this baby girl. Thank you for her spirit of determination and her ability to keep her eye on the prize. Thank you for the huge beaming smiles that flood her face when she reaches her goal. Thank you for the blessing of our Clara!

16 Weeks

I just got back from a call at Northwest hospital tonight. It is nearly midnight and I am trying to wind it all down and process the session out in my brain so that I can go to sleep. The call was for a 23 weeker with "multiple anomalies". Now, I had no idea what "multiple anomalies" meant...but I packed up my camera (after trying everyone else on my list....again!) and headed on down there. Mom had not delivered when I got there, so I got to sit for a nice long while and watch the recap of The Bachelor. Can I just say...that's a really dumb show. While I was waiting, someone buzzed in at the door and said they were with NILMDTS. I jumped up and was just ecstatic. I mean...FINALLY! SOMEONE answers a call. It turned out to be a lovely, lovely lady named Merri. She had expressed an interest earlier in joining our organization and wanted to shadow a session first. Well...that was way back in the summer. So I specifically have been making an attempt to call her when I can and hope she can join me...but it has never worked out so far. But tonight...even though she didn't answer my call, she just came straight to the hospital when she got my message. I was so thrilled. We had a nice chance to chat a bit before mom delivered...and then it was time to go meet baby. When we walked into the room though...it was like TOTAL WORST CASE SCENARIO. Baby was NOT 23 weeks like the staff had been told. More like...MAYBE 16 weeks. They could not even tell if baby was a boy or a girl...that's how early baby was. Really, we should not have been called for this one...but everyone was expecting a 23 weeker. Baby had been gone a good week or more...so there was a good bit of breakdown and it was dark purple. Baby also was not holding it's shape very well...and kind of spread out like a blob when you laid him down. So here I am...walking into this blind, with a first time "maybe I do want to join NILMDTS, or maybe I don't" situation shadowing me. Baby is not at ALL what anyone was expecting. And I am thinking to myself "What the HECK am I going to do with this situation?" Well. I got all the appropriate paperwork filled out, not missing the obvious fact that baby has no name or sex. And I set to work. I noticed right off that this baby has totally tiny, but perfect little feet and teeny tiny toes. And I just went crazy on those feet. And he had tiny little arms with teeny little hands and eensy weensy little fingers...so I set to work on those. And then I found that if I got at just the right angle, I could get beautiful profile shots of baby that kind of got rid of the obvious problems and just showed his sweet face. I didn't take too too many. There just wasn't much to take pictures of. The nurse took baby then and headed down the hall to weigh him (they thought he might be a boy) and to attempt hand and footprints. He weighed like 108 grams I think? Way less than a pound and was only 8 inches long. I got several more pictures of baby there and they swaddled him in a tiny little blanket and put the tiniest little hat on him that I have ever seen. It was amazing how sweet and tiny and beautiful he looked in the end. Once again, I promised Chris that I would not be up all night working with the images...that I would come home and go to bed...so I will do that. Tomorrow I will begin to work on this one. There won't be a slideshow I don't think. Just a few images of this little one that never drew a breath or opened his eyes. So tiny and so beautiful. The best part of the evening? My photographer that met me there did not run away screaming and hiding. She was very interested and asked a lot of good questions...including..."How do I sign up?" Here she had walked into absolutely THE worst situation possible, and she hung in there with me and muddled through it and then said "Sign me on" Thank you God for this lovely lady, who has a heart for this ministry and is not faint of spirit. Thank you for her lovely company tonight and for her go-to attitude. Thank you Lord for your provision in this young woman for whom I have been asking for! Thank you for help!

I love this one

B is for....

BUSY!!!!!! Holy Cow! This picture business is just NUTS right now! Who knew?! I am booked nearly solid through Thanksgiving. LOTS and lots of people that I do not know. Lots that I do know...and that is fun and nice...but lots that I don't know too! So that's good for growing my business. BUT...it's nuts. I'm thinking seriously about just closing the book on appointments now until after Thanksgiving. There are just SO many. I have 12 over this next week. Which I suppose, in ths scheme of life is not too too many. But considering that each session requires about an hour of shooting and working with the families and then at a minimum, an hour to process, photoshop into cards and then post...and then about another to process and upload orders....well. That's a LOT! And there has been no miraculous appearance of a maid yet at our house...so there's all of that that still falls under the Mommy Do It category! Throw in kids and their crazy schedules and all of their homework and what not. And VOILA! Total and complete chaos...coupled with utter exhaustion by 7:00 p.m. every night! I am almost, at this point, just looking for Christmas to be over so I can have all this madness behind me and rest! I'm thinking I'm going to need a trip to Hawaii in January to recover from all of this! Hee hee! But really. It's been such fun. And it's such an amazing blessing. WHO KNEW that just a short year ago I would have a calendar that looks like this? God is so, so good to me. He has blessed me with this talent and blessed me with a full calendar and fantastic clients! Thank you God for your generous provision and gracious blessings on me and my family.

S is for....

Sleepy. That is where I am today. Just plain sleep deprived! Last night's call had me out until midnight. The family I worked with last night was beyond distraught. Hard to work with simply because every time I looked for a little hand or foot to photograph, Mom would burst into inconsolable sobs and Dad would then have to comfort and we'd have to wait for them both to calm down and then try something else. It took forever to get very few photographs. So few that I am nearly done editing them already and am wondering if I will even be able to build a 3 minute slide show with what I've got. Normally, I am trying to cut my slideshows down from 8 or 9 minutes to a nice 4 to 5. But I think 2 to 3 minutes will be a stretch on this one. I only have about 45 pictures to work with. The vast majority of those being mainly of just mom and dad crying...precious few of their little boy. They simply could not bear to take their eyes or hands off of him for even the shortest of moments. But for now, I am trying to find some degree of mental sharpness! I have picture appointments this afternoon. A fun family group...but I need to be game on and ready for them just the same. One of this family's little guys likes to make me work for my pictures! In a perfect world, I would slip into my pajamas right now (I don't care that it is only 1:40 in the afternoon), pull the shades, grab a pillow and blanket, and just lounge on the couch until bedtime tonight...all comfy and happy. However. There is that little matter of reality. And my reality today is picture appointments, picking up kids from orchestra practice, tackling homework X 3 kids, fixing dinner, catching up the laundry (does it EVER end?)...and THEN I can think about slipping into p.j.s! Such is life! Life is good though! So very blessed and so very busy and so very, very good. On with the business of life for now! Sleep will have to wait!

W is for....

Waiting. It is 10:06 p.m. and I am on standby for a call from Northwest Women's Center tonight. AND...I am sleepy and ready to climb into bed and call it a night. But I promised I would give it until 11 p.m. And so...I will...for another, hmmmm, 52 minutes sit here and try to entertain myself in such a lively way as to stay awake until the 11 o'clock hour passes. They won't call after 11:00. Of course...that doesn't mean for a second that this baby won't be waiting for me first thing tomorrow morning. But tomorrow is a new day and I can deal with it tomorrow. Better yet...I might...just maybe, find someone else who for once might step in and do one of these sessions for me. But for now...I am waiting. I am almost caught up on all of my other sessions...so of course it's time for another. I don't want a back log of these sessions as I have more picture appointments than I know what to do with coming up here in the next two weeks. I have scheduled 11 new appointments over the past 3 days. I had thought about throwing out the same offer to my Sunday school class that I did last year...but I don't think I'll have time. I'm already pretty booked right up to Thanksgiving. If they call me, I am getting them all in...but I don't think I'll throw it out on the wide open table this year, for sheer lack of time!

And there's my call. Little boy. He's here and the family is waiting for me...so off I go!

N is for...

NO. I had to tell a hospital no last night...that there was noone available to come for a family. It was awful. And has not set well with me. The first time in nearly a year that I have said no to any single call. But I have been flooded with calls lately...and have had less and less photographers stepping up to help me. Poor Diane is swamped with weddings now that the weather is cooling down a hair...Leah JUST had a baby on Monday..my other photographer is 7 months pregnant and we have all agreed that's just not fair to send a ripe, pregnant mom bursting with the promise of life in to photograph a family who just lost their own promise. There's me...who is crazy busy this time of year with Christmas card sessions and all...and there is one other one on our list...but she can never seem to be inconvenienced enough to get out of her pajamas and go. And I finally, for the first time ever had to say no. I had a house full of company. My parents were here visiting from Florida, plus my sister from Phoenix. We had had a busy day, were exhausted and we were celebrating my son and my sister's birthdays that night. And it was creeping up in to the night and I called all my people and noone would go. So that left me. And I was so exhausted I could hardly function...not to mention leaving my family....AGAIN in the middle of getting kids ready for bed. I just had to say no this time. I haven't felt entirely good about that at all. It's stressful to me to think that they might not have any pictures. In all fairness, this was a 19 1/2 week old baby....and there might not have even been anything at all to photograph. I don't know. Won't know. But still. I hate that I had to say no. That noone could get there for that family. I am calling several photographers this week. I have got to find some help. GOT to. I can't do all of Tucson by myself. I can't do half of Tucson by myself. I have got to get a reliable team in place. Otherwise, my heart will break knowing that I have to say no again.

D is for...

Desert Museum. It's where I took my parents today. My camera is just SO, so happy there. So much desert...so little time! I cannot WAIT to go back there again! LOOOOOOVE IT!!!!!

S is for.....

SECRET..which I don't have to keep anymore. My dear friend Mary is HOME from London....for GOOD! HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!! I have had a lonely and sad six months (well...four, technically ) without her and I am overjoyed to see her beautiful face again in my living room and hug her neck and be able to talk to her while she shops at Safeway! She's my secret twin, prayer warrior, walking buddy, drinking pumpkin lattes buddy, eating Mexican food and drinking margaritas buddy! Between her abscence and Chris' cholesterol diet it has been a MISERABLE existence! But my heart is overflowing with pure joy tonight knowing that she is back...a mere block away...and that she and I are destined for Starbucks first thing Monday morning!!!! God is SO good to deliver this dear lady back into my everyday life. She never for a second left my heart...but I LOVE having her here...close...every single day! I am overjoyed this night! Simply overjoyed!