I Baptize Thee...

Sunday afternoon I took pictures for UMC's very first Pediatric Memorial Service. It was just incredible to see all of the families who have said goodbye to their sweet children at UMC come together to remember them in such a special service. There was a memorial tree that the parents all decorated a butterfly ornament for and hung for their children which was later lit in the service. And there was a beautiful dove release. Once the service was over, I was asked to go up to the NICU for a session. It was time for a very young couple to say goodbye to their sweet angel. I never really know exactly what I am walking in to when I head in for these sessions. I often don't know if baby is still with us or not, or how the parents are handling this...if baby will be able to be held or not...or if mom and dad even want to. Every session is a new journey for me. This session was for a beautiful little girl...born at just 23 weeks gestation. Much, much too small to survive in this world. And after much angst, her parents had decided to pull her life support and let her go into the arms of Jesus. I met them there in the NICU. The little mom, at only 19 years of age, was just overcome with tears and emotion as the NICU staff explained the process to her and got her settled and ready to hold her little girl. The hospital chaplain came up to be with the family and baptized the baby there as mom held her and wept over her. And then she slipped away...ever so quietly. The tubes were all removed and we saw her beautiful little face for the first time...free of tubes...and free of the suffering of this life. It was an experience that I have never before been a part of. And I was humble beyond belief to be able to witness this and to share this family's pain of letting this little angel go. It is starting to all sink in for me tonight...I am starting to digest it all. I know that this tiny one is tonight, being cuddled in the arms of Jesus himself...I am hoping that this mom and dad somehow know that too...and take some comfort in it. And I am thankful that I have never encountered anything like this in my own life. That I never had to say goodbye to any of my own. That I never had to look into their little faces and make that decision for them. I am left pondering this photography gift and talent...wondering if all along, this was the reason it was given? Capturing these images...it changes one's heart and soul forever...in ways I never could have imagined. God is doing a work here. In me...in my heart...in my family...and in each of these families that cross my lens. I am thankful for the new person that I am every time I leave a session...for the things that I take away with me...and the images that I am able to leave behind. God is so good. Even in the midst of such sadness...God is so good.