Unshakeable Faith

I finally got the call on my laboring mom...it was finally time...her baby girl was making her way into this world. I went in to the hospital...not at all sure what to expect. Once again...I left a changed person...different than the girl that walked in there. This family was amazing. So full of faith and a love of Jesus. Shortly after I arrived, their pastor arrived. A neat guy...I think from the Lutheran church. This was the first family I have worked with that had scriptures ready, at hand...had a favorite hymn, had specific verses that were meaningful to them. You could not help but feel the love of God in that room. There were smiles everywere. Smiles that marveled over how cute this baby's nose was...and how perfectly formed her little hands and feet were. There were no tears. Just smiles and sweet times of holding this precious little one. After a bit, their children arrived, fresh from school. They delighted in looking at her tiny hands and tiny toes and were so curious about her ears and her hair and her eyes. Mom was so amazing with them all...asking them if they remembered where their baby sister really was...with Jesus they all sang out as they acknowledged that what they were holding was only a body, and not the precious little soul that was waiting for them in Heaven. They seemed so excited over the prospect of meeting up with her there in Heaven one day. And through all of the explanations...smiles. It was a beautiful time. I watched their nine year old son hold and rock the baby. He sat in the rocker and rocked and rocked and rocked her. So gently, so sweetly. The baby of the family, a three year old little angel of a gal...was facsinated by everything there...the baby, the curtain in the room, the strawberries that came in Mom's lunch, the cheesecake on her tray! She lit up the room and we all added our own smiles to hers. There was so much love in that room. And so much contented joy. The kind that can only come from our Lord above. I honestly don't know how people without any sort of faith can get through a situation like this. I don't know how they can possibly cope or find the strength to move ahead. But this family has found SUCH strength. And such peace. It was truly a pleasure and an honor to be there and be a part of those moments. A pleasure and honor to capture and preserve them. It was truly an amazing day...one I am again...ever so thankful for in more ways than I could ever express. Lord...you are so good. So merciful. So generous and caring. Thank you for your peace and your presence in our ever changing lives. Amen.

Phone Calls in the Night

I just received a phone call from Northwest Hospital Women's Center. There is a mom who will deliver a baby some time in this night...a baby who lost her little heartbeat at some point in this past 24 hours. I knew of this mom. Was asked about our services a short time ago by our pediatrician, who happens to be one of mom's best friends. But I had every hope that this family would be able to at least meet this little one...face to face...even if just for a short time. But that is not to be the case. This little angel will never draw her first breath. She is already in the hands of Jesus...without ever spending even a moment here on earth with us. It is nearly 10 p.m. and this mom is, even now, laboring to bring forth this child...a child they so eagerly anticipated and were so excited to have. They knew early on, that there were most likely some problems...some Down's and other issues. But the news got worse as the months progressed and they knew that this little one would be born with something fatal and not live long at all...if at all. And now...they know for sure that they will never know even a moment of her life...for she has gone on.

Fast forward....it is now 9 a.m. on Thursday morning. I am still waiting for the phone call that never came last night. I checked in with the breavement coordintator on that floor and she said that mom is not even close to delivering. And they had thought she would go so quickly...since this is their 5th baby. But that is obviously not to be the case. So...I am going to head on into the world and try to have a somewhat normal morning. I am heading to the gym...with no plans of being all sweaty...Cell phone in hand...and if progress is made...I will be close by. Though I have to say...that normal is just not possible with all the thoughts I have going through my head and the prayers I have going for this poor family. I can't imagine what this mom is grappling with as she passes these hours by, ever so slowly. Just waiting for a chance to hold and say goodbye to the little angel that has already said goodbye to them. It's a heavy morning here. To be sure. Prayers for this mom...prayers for this dad...prayers for this family who has to say goodbye without ever having the chance to say hello.

Making them Understand

Tonight, it has been an all out battle and attempt to make our son, Max...understand why we will most likely NOT be participating in the "optional" Tuesday morning runs for cross country. The main reason for our lack of particpation is that it starts at 6:30 a.m. Which...happens to be the time that Chris is already down at the gym doing body pump...which would leave the task of getting him there to poor old mom. Now...I don't really have a problem with 6:30....except that Clara does not usually get up until closer to 7 a.m....and I am sure NOT going to wake her any earlier to face an already long day at kindegarten. He is having a hard time grasping why I can't just leave my VERY newly turned five year old home alone in the bed to be gone a good half an hour to shuttle him where he wants to be. He insists that Ben is capable of taking care of her...however...I object to leaving my baby at home and refuse to consider it...so Max is not so happy with me tonight. Oh well. I have a special place that I file complaints like that! Actually...since today was his very first practice...I have a feeling that he might wake up so sore from today's run that he might actually thank me for my deep and wonderful wisdom tomorrow morning when he is trying to move! Those runs can really sneak up on your muscles!

On another note...we had a little get together for Chris' job to attend tonight. I find that some of them require a GREAT deal of concentration. Tonight was one of them. It was a get together for an intern that Chris has had. He is from France...and speaks with a heavy French accent. The people hosting it...also from France...more french accent. Their good friends and another couple that works with Chris...from Germany...so also a strong German accent to process and digest. And my favorite little dude amongst the group...from India. And you guessed it...strong, strong Indian accent. And just for the record...his girlfriend (who I adore) is Polish and speaks with a rather strong Polish accent! And so...all in all it was a night of INTENSE concentration as I processed all of these foreign accents and the english that came disguised amongst it all! Utterly exhausting! And none too pleasant when all you really wanted to do was curl up and go to bed about 5:30 this afternoon....NOT go off to accent central! Today was a really, really, really long day and I was SO dragging by 5:00 this afternoon. SO dragging. Anyway. My brain is fried now from trying to sort out the night's conversation and contribute to it in an acceptable manner. So very tired now...DEFINITELY NOT interested in getting up at 5:45 to take Max to school so he can run. No siree...Mom has issued the veto on that one. We are sleeping all the way to 6:30 a.m and that is THAT! The END! Amen. God Bless America. Thank you for coming.

Another Week, Another Weekend

Well...we are now getting ready for our third full week of school. Time is flying. Lots of progress this week. There have been way fewer battles with my dear Max in the mornings...a lot less yelling, a lot less chaos. We MIGHT just survive the year yet! Lots of new challenges though coming up! For one...Max has decided he is going to run cross country. Now...this is an excellent choice for Max. Chris and I had long since decided that Max needs to be in a sport where he competes mainly against himself...he is NOT a real team player. He's a fast little guy and I happen to think the running will do wonders for him. So this is a good thing. Sort of. A bad thing as well. As far as I can gather (Max forgot to bring home the information sheet...imagine that!...Max forgetting something!) this team practices Monday, WEdnesday, Thursday AND Friday afternoons. Apparently Tuesdays and Saturdays are optional. That's all fine and good...except that it is about to be prime camping season...and if Friday practices are mandatory...that will be an unfortunate event, if you catch my drift. Also bad, in that it will mean I have to drive up to Coronado every day at 5:15 to retrieve him. Now...there is an activity bus he can ride home...but that would mean the poor kid leaves every morning at 7:30 and would not get home again until 6:30....long day. Can't do that. So I will go and fetch him home. Which should make dinner preparations rather interesting! I also learned (thanks to dear friend Vicky!)...that the girl who happens to have QUITE the interest in my Max, and whom I have LONG since deemed NOT wife material...just so happens to run cross country. Hmmmm. This should be interesting.

To further complicate life in the Roberts house, Ben has chosen to play an instrument. He has been very undecided as to what he wanted to play. We attended the band and orchestra meeting and got all the information...but Ben still did not know what he wanted to play. He kept going between the violin and the clarinet. I explained that one belonged to the band and one to the orchestra...which happen to practice on quite different days and at quite different times....so he had to narrow it down. So Saturday, we headed to the music store. He announced, by the way on Saturday morning, that he had made his decision. I asked him what it was and was expecting to hear either clarinet or violin come out of his mouth....however....he said he had decided on the FLUTE! Now...how special is that? I have to tell you that my protective mommy bells went off at that point because...let's face it. The flute is a girls instrument. Boys just don't play it. They just DON'T play it. The clarinet...okay...at least it is a cross over instrument to the saxophone...but the flute. Nope...girly all the way. So I was alarmed. But kept that to myself and went off to the music store to let him further explore his possibilities. The first thing Ben tried was the flute. The guy there kept telling him how totally cool it would be if he played the flute. I point blank asked him if it was because he would be the ONLY BOY playing one? He looked a bit sheepish and did admit that the flute had a reputation as being a girl's instrument. Anyway....by the time Ben got his hands in the right place on the flute...his poor neck was going to need to grow several inches in order for his mouth to reach the mouthpiece...so he gave up on his flute dreams. (Thank goodness)! Then he looked at the clarinet and declared that to be "the one". I said "okay...so you don't want to even see the violin then?" And he said..."Well...okay, as long as I'm here." He held the violin and then announced that that felt the best. I think he counted the strings and thought...Hmmmm, four strings....or....9 buttons on the clarinet...I'll take the strings! We'll see how this goes! Anyway. The violin selection defines him as an orchestra student and he starts practice on Tuesday afternoon, right after school. So I pick up Clara at 1:00 and then get to go right back at 1:50 to get Ben. Then he goes BACK to school at 8:10 the next morning....and I don't get Clara there until 8:40. So...long story short...I basically move back into my car this week. This seems to happen every year. I just live on the go! Fun, fun, fun. Thank goodness we don't have a sport going this season...NOR are we going to add one. Life is crazy enough as it is.

I still need to get myself to the gym in all of this. I have a new obsession with the BodyFlow class! Amazing! LOVE it! I have Tuesday and Thursday mornings blocked off for that right now (and Tuesday nights, and Saturday mornings!). Oh...I got word today that I am supposed to volunteer on Monday and Wednesday afternoons in Ben's class. I have no idea when I am supposed to help in Clara's class. AND...I would still LOVE to WORK in all of this at some point. So. Life is such fun these days. Busy as all get out. But moving faster than I could have imagined!

Remember those days when your kids were little and they got up each morning and watched Barney? Ate cheerios for breakfast....played outside for a while and were just FACSINATED just by even being outside? And then they had a little lunch (which they could barely stay awake through!...and took a good solid two hour nap...then played outside a little more, or read stories with you and ate dinner and then went to bed? If your little ones are still there...hold fast to those days. DO NOT rush them. Cherish them. Cherish the pace of the wee ones. Life is SO crazy and so nuts when they move on from that. Just cherish those days. If your baby takes a nap...enforce that nap and cling to it...schedule the whole world around it. That is my only advice. Cherish the days when you can just be home with your babies...your apple juice, your play doh..and your Barney! This mommy is longing for those days. How very sweet they were! Ah...but alas...on with life!

Roll Over!

That's the new trick I taught our puppy, Oscar! He mastered it effortlessly...just a couple of quick sessions! However...I think I have created a little monster! He is now just throwing himself into rolls all over the house to get treats. It's the funniest thing. I had him practicing his "down-stay" a bit ago...and we were going for a full minute. Well, 45 seconds into the stay, Oscar got discouraged and impatient waiting for the treat...so his little butt is wiggling and I know he's getting ready to come out of this and ruin it...so I give him one more admonishing "STAY"...at which point he looks at me and proceeds to roll over. Of course, he is expecting a treat for his new awesome little trick...which of course, I give him...he's just so darned cute! I thought I would move on to another trick for him...maybe "sit pretty"...but every time I try to work with him on it...he just lays down and rolls over. So I think I'm going to have to let him get this one out of his system a bit before we add a new one! And maybe he just doesn't want to BE pretty! Maybe we should go for a trick with a manlier title...like "be handsome" or something. Maybe he would do that! He's too funny! In the meantime...every time he thinks I am looking at him he starts rolling! So...that's what's going on in the Roberts house today!

A New Volunteer Opportunity

I was approached yesterday by another photographer in Florida, who has started a bit of a volunteer organization (another one) and was asked if I was interested in being a part of it. Apparently, this young lady went through the crisis pregnancy center when she was pregnant with her child and through them was able to get her feet on a good path and was able to go an to deliver and raise her precious daughter. What she saw there and the people she met made quite and impression on her. And so she is now starting a program with these centers...gathering volunteer photographers who would be willing to go into the hospitals for these moms who ultimately choose life and do a session for them and give them a free 8X10. They are presented with the gift package when they first come into the center...earlier in their pregnancies...in hopes that those moms will try to imagine what that session might look like, or what their babies would look like. And the hope, is that in imagining that, they might just choose to have that baby...to bring that little miracle into this world, instead of abort. I think it's an awesome idea...something neat for a new, insure mother. Something precious to treasure. So...I think that I might join in on this one. I was just thinking yesterday morning how neat it would be to be called into the hospital to do a happy session. When the hospital calls me now, it's not happy. I'm going because someone is losing, or has lost their precious baby. How neat to be called because someone is welcoming one! Actually...what I really, really would like to do, is to be able to photograph a birth experience. Not the birth really itself....but all that goes on around it. Dad comforting mom through labor, watching the clock, the work and exertion of pushing, Dad's face the first time he sees his new child...the tears of joy that inevitably come. Just to be there and document it all....that would be amazing I think. That is truly capturing and documenting one of the most important and amazing moments in a family's lives. Can you imagine what that slide show would look like? I wish I had one! The only pictures we have from my deliveries are just a couple of me laying there waiting for delivery looking like a beached whale. And then the few that Chris took while they weighed and cleaned Max up. Fewer of the other kids! I would love to have the pictures of my day that I have in my mind. But...oh well. We will see how it all pans out. I think it's a neat mission and gift...and I do so love those new mommies and babies!

No Worries

Mother Nature finally arrived...putting my mind MOST at ease. I never EVER even think that could be a possibility for us...but this time...well, it was actually crossing my mind and totally messing with my brain! But all is good now. Back to normal. Back on schedule. Peace in my valley again!

Weekends Go By Too Fast!

Well...it's Sunday night. Back to school first thing tomorrow morning. The weekends sure do fly by! We accomplished much this weekend. For starters, Chris and I did a new class at the gym on Saturday...BodyFlow. It's a yoga/stretching class. It was amazing. Awesome. Challenging. Painful to be sure. And the best part of it (besides getting to do it side by side with Chris), was that at the very end, there are nine, that's right, NINE blissful heavenly minutes where you just LAY THERE, relaxing, eyes closed...pure heaven I tell you. I don't know when I have felt that wonderful after a class. I cannot wait to go back on Tuesday night...neither can Chris! We both officially now own a yoga mat...not something I ever saw myself owning...but I really, really, REALLY loved this class. After the workout we all managed a nice little nap...not too long, not too short. Just right. Then Chris and I dropped the kids off at Jackie's and we headed into town to do a little bit of shopping. This is always more pleasant and accomplished MUCH easier without the kids along. So we hit the mall, and a couple of other places and then had dinner out at the Mexican place. Then picked up the kids, bathed them and put them in the bed! On to Sunday. We got up...took care of some house chores (much to my children's dismay). Maxwell learned how to sort laundry and get it started in the machine. Then we headed off to church. I ended up helping out in the two year old class. That one is NOT my favorite. I adore two year olds...individually...but a whole class of them and all their drama and chaos just make me nuts. On a whole, that group of little ones is just wildly uncooperative. The boys anyway. The girls were fairly delightful and listened a good part of the time. But those boys are just stinkers. And when one is stinkin' the others just fall in and add their own stink to the pot. The girls will listen, but the boys just DON'T. They have their own agenda. And by the time you get them anywhere near the area and activity you need them to do...it has taken so much time that the girls have now abandoned ship and have also gone off to do their own things. There was MUCH crying and more temper tantrums than I could count. I spent most of the morning just thanking God that my own little ones are past that age! Really, really, really thanking God that they are past that age. After church we headed straight to HOme Depot. When we bought our appliance last month, we got them at a great discount by waiting a couple of extra days to buy them...so much so, that we decided to go ahead and order our window treatments for the family room sliding glass door. Now...this is a particularly obnoxious sliding glass door as it is so huge. A special order case...of course...which is always especially expensive. But we set out today to get those ordered! In addition to saving 10% on all of our appliances, we also got $250 in Home Depot gift cards as some sort of promotion they had connected to appliance sales. So...gift cards in hand we ordered our track shade things and they SHOULD arrive on or about September 3rd. We shall see! I am VERY excited about having these up before winter comes again. When it is cold outside and it gets dark so early, that huge glass door always feels like a huge black hole in our room. It will be nice to be able to pull these blinds closed and feel like there is still some warmth in this room. After Home Depot, Chris got started on clearing out some tree branches that he cut down a good few days ago. He got them all chopped into small and manageable pieces. We filled the trash to busting and then another 5 big black garbage bags on top of that. While he took care of that, I took care of inside tasks, like dishes and clutter, etc. On a down note...Mother Nature has NOT arrived per schedule. AND...I have spent the last two days being rather nauseaus. Pure coincidence I am sure. Pray with all your heart that that is the case. Chris has had a vasectomy and I have been on the birth control pill until just this past week. I am not planning to take them anymore from here on out. However...there is this nagging little situation where Mother Nature really should have put in an appearance...yet has not. And I have this general all the time queasy feeling going nearly all the time. Except when it all of a sudden spikes like crazy and I run to the bathroom and actually get quite ill. That has only happened once (yesterday)...but it certainly got my attention. I can't be pregnant right now. That's all I have to say about that. I feel certain that God knows this and would not allow this at this point in my life. I can't go there. I can't do that. I just can't. Pray for a swift and sure arrival of Mother Nature. Very, very swift would be just fantastic! That's all the news here. We are back off to school again tomorrow. So much fun, so much work...most likely, so much yelling about 7:20 a.m. tomorrow morning trying to get Max out the door. Don't you just love Mondays?! Weekends are just too short!

Reflections on the New School Year

Well...we have officially completed the first full week of the school year. And while it certainly got off to a rocky start, thanks to my toe meeting up with the trailer hitch ordeal, it has progressed fairly smoothly from that point on. There is much good news. For one...I have two matching shoes on now. That's big news. As sexy as that black orthopedic velcro shoe is...I much prefer my own matching pair. I'm still taped up and bruised a plenty and am sporting quite an impressive blood blister beneath my toe nail (and yes, I do still have one...for now anyway!)...but I am mobile and matching and that's not too shabby considering where I was this day one week ago.

Clarabelle is loving Kindegarten. Her first little report came home all glowing with every "good girl" box checked! She seems to be making lots of friends...Haley, Haley and Kayleigh among a few of them. She is full of stories of her adventures through the day and is pumped up and ready to sell no less than 200 items in the school fund raiser so that she can earn a Wii game station (which I tried to tell her that we already have)! She's rather angry and exasperated with me and my lack of enthusiasm at going door to door across all of Southern Arizona to peddle her wares...but we'll work through that.

Ben is really enjoying his teacher...which is a really, really nice change for him. His best friend is in his class...again, which is nice for him. And he announced today that he would like to be in the band at school and play the clarinet. I'm glad to hear this...he is certainly responsible enough to handle the added activity and practice time. Would it be a terrible thing though...to push him towards the violin or the viola instead of the clarinet? I asked him what his choices were. He told me the trumpet (no thanks...the practice would NOT be fun to hear on that one), the trombone (same there), the bass, clarinet, flute, violin, viola...and I can't remember what else. Anyway...it's under consideration for him.

As for Max...today, finally seemed to illicit a smile from him. He came home rather pumped up about a dodgeball game in p.e. He also has his best friend over spending the night tonight...so life is pretty good in the world of Max. He has algebra homework over the weekend...that is something new for him...but he doesn't seem too bothered by that prospect.

I was able to accomplish much this week...once I got moving with my toe, that is. For one...I had my physical. That went just great. I had gone in a week prior for all of my bloodwork, etc. And the results? OUTSTANDING!!! That's right. Healthy as a horse. So healthy, as a matter of fact...that I don't have to have another physical for at least 3 years. Same for my pap smear. Oh...a word of advice on that subject (now that I brought it up). If you are having casual conversation with the nurse while she is digging in the speculum drawer looking for the right one and she passes like ALL of them up...then suddenly, mid sentence stops and asks you..."Do you have children?" Do not tell her "Why yes! We have three!" NO!!! Lie through your teeth and tell her "Nope. We don't have any...don't want any. As a matter of fact...we NEVER even have sex." Because I noticed that as soon as I said we had three children...suddenly, whatever speculum was closest at hand suddenly seemed just right. And I promise you...it was not the petite version that came to rest in the lukewarm cup of water on the counter. No ma'am, it was not. So...guard your answers carefully ladies when speculums are on the calendar. That's all I have to say about that. The rest of my physical was fine. I did, somehow...forget to mention my headaches...despite the fact that I had written the dates all down and made a point to put them in my purse and had them right there with me. So...there's that. However...when I added them all up and averaged them all out...it came out to be only one headache every 5 1/4 days. That didn't seem so bad to me. That's like practically only one a week. So...I pronounced myself normal. Now...moving on!

The rest of life is just good. For the first weekend, in like FOREVER...we have NOTHING to do. That is just like heaven...music to my ears! I imagine we will pop into the gym in the morning...and then Chris and I are planning a little excursion out shopping tomorrow afternoon and a nice little date dinner. Then early to bed with all of us...which seems to be a very central theme here lately. I won't be overdoing it in the gym...that's for sure. I was sure I was ready for a nice walk today...walked to Mandy's house...which is exactly right here in the neighborhood. That went great...but the way home might as well have been from Phoenix, as just around the corner. My toe was singing by the time I limped in the door and I was off my feet and on my butt for quite a time after my little morning excursion. Maybe NEXT week I will start my walk! Healing is such a slow process. Drives me nuts! Tests my patience to no end ! Oh well...slow as it is...life is good here in the desert!

My Baby Girl Turns Five

Today is my baby girl's birthday. On this day, five years ago, at 4:35 a.m. we joyfully welcomed Clara Elisabeth into this world. She weighed 8 pounds exactly and was 22 inches long. She had a head full of the most beautiful hair you have ever seen on a baby...and her dad and I were just overjoyed to finally have the little girl we had dreamed about for so long. She was perfect in every single way...just gorgeous. It's hard to believe it has been five years already. In those years Clara has lived in 4 different places, has attended 3 churches, has gone to both preschool and kindegarten (which her brothers never did since we homeschooled), and has become the princess of our family. She is the constant chatter and song in our home and the drama in life when things don't go right! She has a way of making us smile and laugh and wonder what we ever did before we had her. And she is just the most precious gift that we could ever have hoped for. The last five years with her have been such a gift...such an adventure...such a blessing. We could never have imagined what having a daughter would be like. How wonderful and how special and how truly...amazing. Thank you, God for Clara! Thank you for the gift of this child. For five amazing years. For blessing us in ways we never could have dreamed of. Thank you God! Happy Birthday, Baby Girl!

Gifts

This is my favorite picture from Saturday. Saturday was my Clara's day for gifts. Her party was scheduled...and the preparations had been hectic, thanks to my little toe breaking episode. We were expecting guests, so much had to be done...and I had fallen into bed late and exhausted Friday night. At 6:00 a.m., the phone rang. It was the hospital with a family who would like to have pictures done of their angel. Inwardly, I groaned. I was SO sleepy and SO tired, not to mention barely walking thanks to the toe. I took the information and let them know we would have someone there as soon as we could. I had every intention of calling someone else to handle this one. I was, after all, tired. And half cripple. AND...I had a million things to do to get ready to celebrate my daughters 5th birthday. So I hopped back into bed intending to snooze just a bit more and then get someone right on that call. Only...no snooze ever came. I lay there thinking about that family. And how they must be feeling right then. And I realized that they would never have a birthday to celebrate with their little girl, like I did. That amidst all of the celebration at my house that day, mommies and their little girls would be oblivious to this poor family across town grieving the loss of their own baby girl. And so I couldn't lay there a second longer. I limped myself into the shower and down to the hospital. I was slow, but I made it. And I found just the sweetest little family there. A family who was sitting there holding this sweet angel of a baby who had never taken a breath. And I was just struck, once again, by how fortunate I am and how blessed. And I worked that session and made sure to create the sweetest, girliest, lovliest pictures that I could for these parents...all the while thinking of my own sweet baby girl at home. And when I walked back into my house after that shoot...my precious little one ran and leaped into my arms singing out that "Here's your birthday girl, mama!" And even though it was definitely her day for gifts...I knew without a doubt that I had received the biggest one by far. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lord for these opportunities where I am reminded just how awesome you are, and how richly I am blessed. Thank you for my own little girl and for the gift of knowing how fortunate I am to have her. Thank you for your many gifts, Lord. Thank you.

Obituary of a Rat

Einstein DaVinci Roberts, beloved hamster of Maxwell Roberts, whom had been a dweller in our home for a very long nearly two years, passed away peacefully in his sleep on the morning of August 10th, 2007. Einstein was a good rat...he resided quietly in his cage...sleeping nearly all the time, and only waking up long enough to shove ALL of his food in his mouth and go back to sleep. Despite his obvious aversion to exercise or any activity requiring any effort whatsoever, Einstein managed to live a remarlably long life. So long that it was often questioned as to whether or not he was getting just tap water...or some fountain of youth in that water bottle of his. His escapes from containment were only a couple (though I doubt I will ever forget them!) and his ability to sleep most anywhere will long be marveled. Einstein was presented to Max as a reward for improving his handwriting to something that MIGHT be considered legible...if only just barely. You might say he was the very last of the great bribes (his parents simply no longer care about his handwriting!). God was rather merciful in the collection of dear Einstein's life. He chose a time when Chris was in town to have our dear rat depart us...not like last time! And he was especially merciful in that he took...and we discovered, dear Einstein's demise early on the morning of trash day. The mercy in that was really more for poor mom...in that Einstein got to go straight on to the next world...wherever it is that the trash ends up every Tuesday and Friday...and did not have to make an intercessory stay in mom's freezer (which is what Dad insanely suggested should have happened upon the demise of our dear other rat friend, Smore, who did NOT happen to die on trash day...but instead on a Friday afternoon AFTER trash collection, and therefore did not get picked up for 4 days!). So we are so very thankful for the time we have shared with this dear rodent...who has pretty much slept his entire time on this earth away right here in our own home. We were blessed to have gotten to pour bag after bag of food down his greedy throat and watch his cheeks expand to the point of imminent explosion. We were blessed to witness his creativity in converting basic exercise equipment like his wheel for running, into quite the sleeping place! We are so glad to have been able to share this journey with our friend, Einstein. And we wish him the best wherever it is he has moved on to. We are so thankful for this happy ending with our dear friend. The end.

And Then the Heavens Opened Up...

...and God said "I hate you, Alfalfa." That is a line from the Little Rascals movie. And THAT is the kind of day I am having today. First things first...my toe is beyond painful today. I mean it hurts with the meanest kind of a hurt. It's angry, and purple and ugly and the slightest touch just makes it meaner and angrier. I had to take one of those pain pills within the first hour of being up this morning. And I have decided that that is the LAST one of those things I will take. They make me feel agitated. My mouth goes sticky, and I am sleepy...but not in a lay down and actually go to sleep kind of way. And I am over sensitive to light, and motion and everything. And nauseaus. HOLY COW! I had to have Jackie pull the car over on the side of the road this morning while she was helping me get my errands run. I nearly lost it...I can't remember when I have felt that sick before. I scrapped all my other errands. I just can't do them. I am too sick feeling and in too much pain. So...another day...little to nothing accomplished. Then to make matters even worse this morning...Max comes down the stairs in tears. His hamster is dead. So...I am trying to comfort the child...all the while rushing him out the door to the bus (which actually showed up today when it was supposed to). I don't dare ask how much worse a day can get. I already know the answer. But I am just really praying for a reprieve right now. A reprieve from the pain, and the nausea, and the dying animals....you name it. I just feel like crap. So...that's the day in a nutshell. I have definitely had better, here in the desert.

Broken!

Today was not my day. NOT AT ALL. First of all, Maxwell's bus did not show up. It was 8:00...his pick up time was supposed to be 7:40. We had been out there since 7:30. Finally at 8:00 I RAN home, got the car and Ben and Clara and all of their things and rushed Maxwell up to Coronado so he would not be late on the first day of school. Then I had to rush back to Painted Sky to get Clara and Ben to school on time. Of course...this being the first day of school, it was a total MAD HOUSE around the school. No parking ANYWHERE near it! But despite the challenge of parking (thank goodness we have a Gigi that lives right there so we could park a LITTLE more easily than others) we made it on time. Clara did not even give me a second glance as she bounded out onto the kindegarten playground. She has been eyeing it for two years now...and so she was NOT about to waste her very first chance to play on it with tears of goodbye! No ma'am. She was off...just like that. Of course... Ben had walked himself on to class...so that left just me. A friend and I walked over to the Welcome thing in the library...but we quickly bailed once we realized there was a whole line of people waiting to sign us up for grocery cards, pto and everything else under the sun. At that point I headed to Target to pick up a couple of things and then came home to get a good jump on cleaning. I lifted the tailgate of the Explorer to get out my purchases and that's when it happened. The trailer hitch for our camper came tumbling out of the back and down, down, down...directly onto my second toe on my right foot. That was at about 10:15 this morning. You might have heard my sobs of pain and hysterical crying all the way wherever you happened to be...even London! It was absolutely the way worst moment of my life. I managed to get myself inside the house. And after crying hysterically for an hour with no relief whatsoever in the pain department, I had to put in a desperate call to the dear hubby. He was an angel and came right home to my rescue. He drove my crying self to urgent care and sat with me and held my hand through the x-rays and what not. The doctors confirmed what I already strongly suspected. My toe is broken clean through. Instead of having 3 bones in my toe, it looks as if I now have four. It's swollen to twice the size of normal and is a lovely shade of blue. And I DO mean BLUE. I have spent the afternoon strung out on Percoset. I asked for an epidural (it really did hurt just that bad!) but they turned me down and offered the Perc instead. That's all fine and good, except it made me feel like I might throw up the rest of the afternoon. I have now managed to climb out of the drug fog. Trying to hold off on any more pain meds until I go to bed. I can't function too well with that stuff in my system and I have WAY too much to do to sleep these days. Anyway...that was my no good, very bad, terrible, horrible, absolutely painful day.

First Day of School!!!!

Today was the day!!! The first day of school! FINALLY!!!! They had backpacks! They had lunches! And it was out the door for the first day of school. Clara was a total chatterbox and was ready to leave shortly after six a.m. Max was a bit sullen and quiet...nerves I think about the whole middle school thing. The fact that his bus did not come did not help matters a bit. I finally threw him in the car after waiting with him for a half hour at his bus stop and took him up there. He found out from a friend that the bus did not come until after 8:00. So...we will try again tomorrow I suppose! Everyone came home excited and smiling. Not Max so much. I think that he was totally overwhelmed by all the new changes and schedule. It's going to be an interesting year for sure!

Grumbling

I have a client that is making me crazy. CRAZY!!!! CRAAAZZZZYYYYYYY!!! I am a fairly patient person. Especially with business matters. HOWEVER....this one....GRRRRRR. I am not sure how much of this I can take. This person is just as nice as she can be. Really...just lovely. But she is making me NUTS!!!! I am thinking that I am going to have to take a photography sabatical and just NOT be a photographer for a while. It is one thing after another...can I reproof the pictures because it's too hard to see them where the proof mark is...and can I print out a sheet of every single pose I did with her child so she can show her all the ones she DIDN'T choose one day???!!!! (what is UP with that?!!!)...oh...and can I switch every freaking single picture around on every single storyboard that I designed for her...just so she can come right back to the original and declare it the best?!. Oh...and we just did our second session (still haven't gotten the order for the first one!!!). She showed up on time...only NOT ready. Curlers in hair...NONE of them dressed. It was a FULL hour after her appointment time before we EVER took the first picture. There were curling irons all over my living room and half of a closet I think of clothes! But we got through the pictures. And today...TODAY...I get this list...this very, very , very long list of pictures that she would like for me to delete from her gallery...then REPOST her gallery online for her...so that it will be less taxing to look at?! But the fun does not stop there. NO!!! In addition...there is another equally long list of pictures with crazy order wishes...like can I make this child's eyes less red (see...mom did not want to wrinkle her shirt..so she instead let child cry for no less than a half hour at arm's length..thus the red eyes), and can I fix her child's mouth because she did not smile nicely...and can I switch heads out of like a MILLION pictures and put them on some others?! GOOD FREAKING GRIEF!!!!!!!! I am a photographer...not an artist OR a miracle worker. I cannot fathom how many hours it will take me to even begin to wade through her list...much less actually fix the things on it. I cannot even think about it right now. It gives me a headache. And I DO MEAN a BIG ONE!!! I was excited to get this referral before. This lady does pictures EVERY SINGLE MONTH THE FIRST YEAR! That's a lot of business. However...after just now finishing month 9 pictures...I have to say that 10, 11 and 12...well. I am weary already and I simply do not know if I can keep up this pace for another 3 shoots. Hell...I haven't even processed the first two! I hate to grumble. I should be so thankful for this business opportunity. Only...I just think of how wonderful and sweet and easy and delightful ALL of my other people have been...and I just am feeling a bit grumbly about it all right now. This woman is just nuts....and I am thinking it's contagious if you have to hang around with OR work with her too much! Because I am definitely feeling a bit nuts right now...and NONE too happy about these crazy long lists of hers. Is it SO hard to just pick your stupid pictures from the gallery? Noone else seems to have any trouble with it. NO ONE. The way I see it...you either like them...or you don't like them. Head bang, head bang, head bang...that's where I am right now...this afternoon. I imagine I have said just about enough about this. Thank you for listening. And remember...DO NOT harass the photographer. It just isn't NICE!!!!

Thankful

I spent Sunday afternoon at the hospital working with a family who is faced with losing their precious little one. As I left the hospital I was once again reminded of how very blessed I am to have three healthy children. And to have gotten them here into this world without incident. I felt so blessed to have been able to share and document a few precious moments of this child's life for this family. I realized how greatly God has blessed me with this photography and I am just so thankful that I have been given opportunities like the one on Sunday...and countless others...to use my talent in such a way that gives families precious keepsakes of their angels. I realized that these sessions are my real passion. NOT that I don't adore all the smiling (and often NOT smiling) little ones that come into my little studio. But there is something so amazing about being able to share what you know are just a few short moments here on earth with a child and their family. What an honor...to be allowed to share...even a few of those. I am humbled beyond belief each and every time I witness God's miracles and see his work in these tiny little lives. I never, ever leave the same person as I went into the session as. Each time I am changed a bit in ways I never could imagine. And each time I carry a little bit of that angel out with me. They stay in my thoughts and prayer constantly for a while. Those babies...and those sweet families who are having to say goodbye. This is my passion...to be able to place a tangible memory in these parents hands...a way to remember those moments that were just too short.

Headache

Got a nice one starting up here. Right side of head all the way. It's barely started and it hurts. Just for the record. See doctor next week. Now I have it all recorded and ready to discuss. Now I just have to remember to take my list with me!

Entertaining

Tonight was the night for our small little Happy Hour gathering. It turned out to be just HUGE. WAY huger than anything I could possibly have imagined. It was really just absolutely stifling if one most know the truth. I realize, that as Chris' wife, I am called upon from time to time to host these types of events...but they are truly out of my comfort zone for sure. For one...most of these people are strangers...at least to me...or even if I have met them casually a time or two...they are still strangers. LOTS of them. It is not a far stretch to say that I have some crowd issues. I avoid them at all costs. REALLY. I HATE it when someone moves into what I consider MY space at the gym. The aerobics studio is a big place, you know what I mean? Yet inevitably someone wants to stand right NEXT to me. UGGGGh. I hate grocery stores when they are crowded, rarely attend concerts, avoid 4th of July gatherings and don't even like school plays, etc. I really am not a crowd kind of girl. But tonight....crowd was the word. There were so many people standing around my kitchen that it was just disorienting. The night ended up okay. Although...it is stressful for me when so many people are around because when there are SO many people, it is just so hard to focus on any of them really. I found myself at the beginning of the night just visiting with a couple of folks that I already knew mostly outside of Ventana. But I knew that I had to move on from that and mingle with Chris' coworkers....hard as that is for me. So...I navigated my way to my favorite bottle of wine...because these things just require it...and jumped in and started working my way around. I talked with too many people. More than I can really recall. I made sure to hit the important ones...Chris' boss and his past one...though at one point I really wanted to snag the boss and discuss with him how I don't appreciate AT ALL him snagging MY hubby as one of the ONLY two in the whole darned company who has to go to Turkey here next month...but I resisted. Made meaningless small talk instead. Circulated some more...walked people to the door...circulated some more. All in all, when the door was closed to the last guest it was LLLLLLATE! And I was tired. I was just thinking at that moment of my little girl who was at her very first ever sleep over with a friend and thinking that "Wow! She really stayed over!"...when the phone rang. And it was my dear friend phoning to let me know that my girl was not really going to complete the whole sleep over thing and that she was on the way over with her! I smiled to myself...thinking she had ALMOST made it! When my friend pulled up both my girl AND hers were OUT dead asleep in the back seat. It's a whole 4 minute drive from my house to hers, so I knew our girls must have played so hard. She confirmed that they truly had. And as I carried my baby girl in the house she woke up just long enough to tell me that she "just couldn't bear to be away from me all night long". How sweet was that? I am choosing to truly treasure these days...days when my daughter would rather be here at home, with me, than off with any friends. That no matter what the world offers her (and tonight the offerings were pretty awesome) she prefers her family and her home. We had a sweet snuggle as I carried her upstairs. I had to admit that I too will sleep better tonight knowing that she is just at the top of the stairs. And that we will all wake up in the morning and start the day anew....together. Tomorrow...she just might be ready to head off into the world without me. But tonight...well, it's a sweet, sweet thing to have my baby close to home! Life is good in the desert! Crowds and all!

So Many Thoughts

Busy day here today. Almost too tired to think tonight. So many thoughts spinning in my head at this hour. Our small happy hour get together thingy tomorrow night has now become an expected 35. Yes...35 people have accepted the invitation...I asked Chris..."Did you invite 35 people?!" Apparently, he did and nearly all of them have accepted. So how fun is that?!!! So...there's the house to clean. That's the whole point really of this...or at least my advantage in agreeing to it...the house gets a really great cleaning. There's nothing like a little entertaining to force you to clean out those deep nooks and crannies! And then...thoughts of tomorrow lead me to thoughts of today. I grocery shopped. It was like being in senior citizen hell at Fry's this afternoon. It was like ALL of Sun City...and I mean EVERY resident, descended upon Fry's exactly at the time I needed to be there. I have to tell you that navigating around hundreds of the 70 yr old and up crowd really slows down a shopping experience. It was especially fun with 3 kids and one of those terribly obnoxious and impossible to steer car buggy things. I nearly lost my sanity in Frys'. Here's my meager word of advice...if you pull up to Fry's and see the Coyote Run shuttle out front...then RUN LIKE THE WIND!!! Forfeit any and all ideas that you might be holding about shopping. Just hang it up, drive to Safeway and pay the extra bucks. It will be worth it! Then my next thought...my 11 year old son hates beans...yes, we have had yet another struggle on that front. Next thought...we hung some new pix in my studio tonight...just one really...but it led to other small projects in there. And then we stood back and surveyed our work...next thought...I REALLY, REALLY need a young, pretty, and I mean REALLY pretty and attractive all American PREGNANT COUPLE in here for pictures. If you are reading this...and you know one...hook me up. I am IN NEED. And to clarify...I do not need women in their 9th plus month...who are just less than pretty. I'm thinking 7th, 8th month...pretty, glowing, happy, smiling. With an equally good looking hubby willing to smile for my camera. Next thought...I cooked tonight...Tomato Florenine Quiche...came out just yummy, and looked just like the picture in Southern Living. Next thought...the puppy had a bath and I think both doggies need to go to grandmas house during the party...next thought...Clara has her first sleep over tomorrow night. Next thought...need to get the weeds out of the yard before tomorrow night...next thought...what if it rains the whole time? Next thought...uggggh. I am too tired to think about anything else except that my feet hurt and I need to sleep now! Big day tomorrow. Fun, fun, fun!