Obituary of a Rat

Einstein DaVinci Roberts, beloved hamster of Maxwell Roberts, whom had been a dweller in our home for a very long nearly two years, passed away peacefully in his sleep on the morning of August 10th, 2007. Einstein was a good rat...he resided quietly in his cage...sleeping nearly all the time, and only waking up long enough to shove ALL of his food in his mouth and go back to sleep. Despite his obvious aversion to exercise or any activity requiring any effort whatsoever, Einstein managed to live a remarlably long life. So long that it was often questioned as to whether or not he was getting just tap water...or some fountain of youth in that water bottle of his. His escapes from containment were only a couple (though I doubt I will ever forget them!) and his ability to sleep most anywhere will long be marveled. Einstein was presented to Max as a reward for improving his handwriting to something that MIGHT be considered legible...if only just barely. You might say he was the very last of the great bribes (his parents simply no longer care about his handwriting!). God was rather merciful in the collection of dear Einstein's life. He chose a time when Chris was in town to have our dear rat depart us...not like last time! And he was especially merciful in that he took...and we discovered, dear Einstein's demise early on the morning of trash day. The mercy in that was really more for poor mom...in that Einstein got to go straight on to the next world...wherever it is that the trash ends up every Tuesday and Friday...and did not have to make an intercessory stay in mom's freezer (which is what Dad insanely suggested should have happened upon the demise of our dear other rat friend, Smore, who did NOT happen to die on trash day...but instead on a Friday afternoon AFTER trash collection, and therefore did not get picked up for 4 days!). So we are so very thankful for the time we have shared with this dear rodent...who has pretty much slept his entire time on this earth away right here in our own home. We were blessed to have gotten to pour bag after bag of food down his greedy throat and watch his cheeks expand to the point of imminent explosion. We were blessed to witness his creativity in converting basic exercise equipment like his wheel for running, into quite the sleeping place! We are so glad to have been able to share this journey with our friend, Einstein. And we wish him the best wherever it is he has moved on to. We are so thankful for this happy ending with our dear friend. The end.