154.4

That was the weigh in this morning. Very depressing and not at all going the direction that I had hoped. Oh well. I definitely made it into the gym this morning and pulled out all the stops and bonded with the elliptical machine for every bit of an hour. 810 calories later I dragged my sweaty self home and got on with the business of the day. That business included cleaning up the kitchen, making lunch for the kiddos, doing some laundry, making beds and various what nots. I made sure that I did everything but eat! I catch myself wanting to eat out of boredom...which is a bit of a problem here for me. I don't know anyone really yet. The only people I have really met are the people that Chris works with and they all work...no stay at home moms like myself. And with the kids home from spring break I have found myself not really getting out because it always seems such an ordeal with all 3 kids along. The boys can't seem to stop doing their ninja tricks in the aisles and just generally cutting up and misbehaving. It ends up making me crazy, so I just save my errands for when Clara and I are alone. Thus I have been bored and lonely since we got back from Montana. So I made heroic efforts to just avoid any kind of snacking. The craziest snack I had all day was a banana...no cookies, no little Debbie cakes, no chips. Well....a few chips. Anyway...I hate having to watch what I eat. I like staying busy enough that I just don't have to worry about it. But now I am MOST definitely worrying about it. I am quite sure that Chris does not relish the idea of having a fat wife. And believe me....when I look in the mirror, what I see in ANYTHING BUT sexy...It's just roly poly one roll after another soft and squishy. I would make a really awesome renaissance woman right about now. So that is my life today...my quest...my obsession. I DO NOT want to get on that scale tomorrow morning and see that it has gone up again. If it keeps going up I am going to have to check into a fat farm somewhere and go on the starvation and exercise till you drop plan. I wish I had a personal trainer and a personal chef...someone who could whip up delectable, yet nutritious goodies for me and a trainer who would motivate and encourage and be there each and every step of the way each and every day. Of course, i would need a nanny as well to watch the little angels while I am out and about getting buff with my trainer. Oh, and we're probably going to need to be millionaires in order to afford this crazy fantasy of mine! So...back to reality. It's just me and my scale and my lousy kitchen skills and my Gold's gym membership that are going to get me through this. Too bad, so sad! So, wish me luck for the great weigh in tomorrow!