The Road To Recovery

The Roberts family in on the mend this day...though it has been a long and slow process to be sure! I feel back to my very normal self as far as my tummy goes...though I am now fighting back Chris's head cold. I have the sniffles, but other than that am not really ailing too badly. Chris and Ben, on the other hand, while definitely better...are still struggling. Chris is still battling an upset stomach and Ben is absolutely exhausted from his ordeal. His stomach also seems to be bothering him a bit tonight. Clara seems all better in the tummy arena...however, now has developed quite a nasty rash over her legs and on her arms. It is very red and blotchy...almost like something tried to have her for lunch! She woke up with it from her nap today. So we tucked Ben into bed with tylenol, Clara into bed with benadryl, hydrocortisone cream and motrin. Chris is already snoring on the couch at exactly 8:56 p.m....which we will leave me sitting here alone working until my own exhaustion kicks in. I can have more sniffles medicine in an hour, so I am planning to stay awake for a while more.

We have no big plans for Memorial Day weekend. Maxwell had a friend over to play today for a while. Lucas is a really sweet kid and we enjoyed having him around. He goes to our church and has the nicest parents ever. Not too long after he left, the rain set in and we have just been listening to it off and on ever since. Noone seems to be oozing energy on this stormy night. On the contrary, Ben was trying to sleep at the dinner table at 7 p.m. and Clara was asking to be put to bed. And as I already mentioned...Chris is doing his pre-sleeping on the couch as I type this. I think the food poisoning really took it out of all of us. Max is the only one of us who escaped unscathed. He is being amazingly patient with the rest of us as we try to summons our health and energies back. It is nice to know that we have nothing planned other than church tomorrow morning for the rest of the weekend. We will have all afternoon and all day Monday to lay around and get ourselves well again. Then we are off and running again on Tuesday.

On Tuesday, the boys will begin working with the SwimTucson swim team. They will swim at 8:20 each morning for 40 minutes. Then we will all head on down to the gym for my workout and then home for whatever the rest of the day holds. This will be the routine 4 days a week. We will see what becomes of that 5th day!

All in all, we are all well and life is good here in the desert. I am thankful for the fact that I made it 33 years without ever having food poisoning. I hope I make it another 33 years before I have anything remotely similar to it again! Until later!

Tummy Troubles!

Our whole family is recovering (albeit very slowly) from a nasty case of food poisoning. It was, I can honestly say, one of the worst experiences of my life...and I think that I prefer unmedicated childbirth to food poisoning any day. I was sure that I was going to die during both instances...however...at least when you get through childbirth you have something to show for it! Granted...the scale was showing 5 pounds lighter...but having Ben was an immediate 6 lbs, 15 oz. weight loss as well. I don't plan to do either ever again...but if I had to choose, I think I'm taking the childbirth...it was shorter too at only 9 hours! We are now at the 48 hour mark with the food poisoning, and though I am moving under my own steam and able to be a little bit productive as far as picking up the house and catching up on the laundry...I am feeling far from well. My stomach is still crampy and food has no appeal whatsoever. Poor Ben looks like a truck ran over him. Of all of us, I think he might have had the worst case. He was in pretty bad shape for most of the day yesterday. But he's a trooper and got up and went to school today....the last day of school. Which is more than I could have done I think. Then he went to evaluate for the swim team and swam like a trooper. He's just been laying around since we got home this afternoon...I can't really blame him. And I noticed that he hardly touched his lunch today. It was a rough ride for all of us...but especially so for him. Poor baby.

Other than trying to recover from our near death experience, not much is going on in our house. Today was the last day of school. I have very bittersweet feelings about that. I rather liked them being there and the routine that comes along with the school year. Routine is a good thing for me. So, I signed the boys up for the summer swim team with SwimTucson. They start May 31st at 8:20 a.m. This is a great thing for us. It will get us up and out of the house early...it's important to do everything early here in the desert! From the pool, we will head on down the road to the gym for my morning workout! We should wrap it all up and be home by 11:15 each day for lunch and afternoon reading (a MUST for my crew in the summer!) and swimming if anyone is up for it. The afternoons really cool down to nice and tolerable by 5 or so, so the evenings here are delightful. It also leaves the afternoons free for get-togethers with friends if all of our errands and exercises are taken care of first thing in the morning. I know the boys will miss their friends a bunch, but they exchanged phone numbers with several friends and hopefully we will make lots of playdates until August.

Tomorrow is our first official day of summer! No real big plans. Just trying to recover! Ben has a birthday party to attend tomorrow afternoon. It is at a cool bowling place called Bedroxx. I like going there and the kids are crazy about it. I hope to go to the gym in the morning if this darned tummy will let up a little bit. I'm still all crampy and sore and last night I did not sleep well. But tomorrow is a new day and I am hoping for the best...to have everyone back on their feet and ready for a fun filled weekend! Wish us luck! Life has been better in the desert for sure! But life is bound to look up!

112

For those of you who read this from time to time....NO, that is not my current weight! I wish! But it IS the temperature here in the town of Oro Valley yesterday. We are expected to see that or higher today. Wow! I have personally never experienced temperatures that high. Things are SO different here in the desert. I can honestly say though that it was not too bad...the heat. It was hot..no doubt. But it was not sticky and we did not feel like we were going to suffocate. It was really amazing. Even Chris was not complaining and he tends to complain about the heat early on! It is amazing how miserable humidity can make things! I will take 112 degrees here in the desert any day over 92 degrees in Florida!

We are off to church today (back at our rock and roll church) and then Chris has invited a friend and his family over to cook out tonight. We aren't totally sure they are coming and his wife and daughters just flew in yesterday afternoon. But they don't have much else to do as their moving truck is not coming for another 2 or 3 days...so they just might. They have a daughter the same age as Max and one that is 4 I think. I thought that they might enjoy getting to know some kids here as they don't have the benefit of school now for the summer...but I understand that the 9 year old daughter doesn't really like boys these days. Go figure! So maybe they will come or maybe they won't. Regardless, I think that we are going to grill out and sit by the pool no matter what.

I started smocking a dress for Clara Friday night. It is SO gorgeous! It is baby blue and sleeveless...and it is going GREAT!!! I am having a blast doing it and it really looks really good. Of course...I can point out every single imperfection for you, but if you don't know any better, the average eye will be clueless tot he imperfections! I am already looking forward to my next project, and I'm not even done with this one yet! My friend is pregnant right now so I think that I will take on a project for her next...maybe one of those ridiculously sweet bonnets and gown sets! It would be nice if she knew what she was having...but she is one of those stubborn types who just loves to leave us all in suspense! Oh well!

All is great here. Loving the desert, loving my house, loving my family! Sometimes life is just fantastic and the blessings are just pouring out all over the place and you can't help but rejoice and feel so thankful that you have it SO good. We don't just have it good...we have it GREAT! So...that's me right now....thankful and SOOOO blessed. Life is good here in the desert!

Friends Today

We had a busy day today running errands and on our way home I checked messages at home and found that Ben's friend Peyton had called and wanted to get together to play....and so they did. Peyton came over and swam and played. Chris and I got to meet his very nice parents and it was a great day as it was our first play date so to speak for the boys!

Chris and I are watching VH-1's top 10 one hit wonders. Come on Eileen was just shown. That is like my favorite all time song..ever! I pushed to name Clara Eileen, but Chris would not hear of it. I like the name Eileen...especially when it is set to such lovely tunes! Chris and I were just saying that we should have a "one hit wonder" party. That would be fun....play all the greatest one hit wonders like Micky and Come on Eileen and Tainted Love. What fun would that be! We are having a Luau party on Wednesday night with friends from Chris' office. It should be fun as he works with a fun group of people! We're going to hit the pool and chill the drinks and kick back and have some Hawaiian fun. Macarena! Oh my...I love that song! I'm going to end all of this and go on a music hunt! Adios...life is good in the desert!

Baby of Mine

Clara is convinced she is a baby. She insists on being treated and coddled and carried like a baby. It is a huge goofy game for her. I count it a great blessing that she, in her "baby state" has continued to use the potty and not insisted that she needs a diaper. I imagine she knows that that would just SO NOT happen in our house. Still...I'm glad she conforms! She refers to herself in the third person these days. If she is upset, she does not just say "I'm upset". She says "Clara is upset." And she tells me that "The baby is thirsty", meaning herself of course. So I hear a lot of Clara this and Clara that from her. She tells me that "Mommy loves her baby SOOOO much" and that "Mommy's baby is SOOOO sweet". I don't remember the boys ever referring to themselves in the third person the way she does...but it's cute and a phase that I know will be gone just as fast as I blink...which is why I sitting here now trying to get it all written down for posterity's sake. My daughter is a breath of fresh air. I adore all of my children...for all different reasons. But I guess I notice Clara the most these days. It could be because she is 2 that I notice her more...she is simply more requiring of my attention at this young age...it could be that she is a girl...but I don't think so. I think it is because Clara is a totally "in your face" little kid. She is not content to talk to you across the room. She wants to be on your lap, with your face held tight between her little warm hands, looking right into your eyes as she tells you something. She loves to be up in your arms and the complete center of your world. And in so many ways she is. I remember that Ben used to do something somewhat similar. He used to climb up on my lap and take my face in his fat little hands and put his nose up to mine and look right into my eyes and say "Hi Mommy". That would be it. Then he would get down and be off into his kid world again. It was sweet and I hope I remember it forever. How sweet he sounded and looked and felt there on my lap. Now he is huge and much too big for too much lap holding. A little here and there. Of my three children, sometimes I am sure that it is Ben who will have the sweetest and most tender heart. Although Clara is very sweet (usually) and very concerned with people's feelings...Ben has such a gentleness to him. Max is more of a black and white, right and wrong kind of kid. He looks out for his number one self and others may or may not receive any of his consideration. Thoughtfulness does not usually come naturally for him. He is a great kid...just wired completely different than the others. I guess that's God's plan...keep us always entertained with something new always going on with them. We are blessed to have them all and see them grow day by day. Challenging as they are at times...it has been an adventure that I would not trade for anything.

When it rains, it pours!

While Clarabelle is on the mend....finally, Ben is having his turn in the doctor's office. I decided to take him in today as he has had a persistent cough for weeks now. Not a bad cough...just persistent. I figured we were having allergy issues--which would be nothing new for this family. But when we got there the Dr. said he sounded really bad, but only on one side of his lungs. So, thinking he had walking pneumonia or Valley Fever, we were sent down the hall for a chest x-ray. Surprisingly, the chest x-rays looked okay...not perfect, but not horrible either. So, it was determined that he has some sort of microplasm infection and was placed on the same strong antibiotic as Clara was on...and not a cheap one either! I figured up that Clara's little respiratory crisis this past week cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $300. Ben is up to $70 so far. We will see how his crisis ends up in the end once we see if we have to return in 10 days or not. Kids can be REALLY expensive! Gotta love em!

I just carried Clara up to bed. She looked so sweet and peaceful as she slept in my arms here and just snuggled right into me as I carried her up the stairs. It made me think that I can't remember the last time that I carried my boys up to bed, asleep in my arms. I wonder if I will know it is the last time when it happens with Clara. Will I recognize that she is outgrowing the option of being carried up to bed while she snoozes away the night? Will I treasure it and commit every tiny detail of that last time to memory? I did know it was the last time when she last nursed. We had had a great deal of trouble in those last few months of nursing and I knew that it was time to end it. My third bout of mastitis left no doubt in my mind that it was time to move on. Clara was just over a year old. I remember sitting there just gazing into her eyes and holding her little hand and watching her smile up at me all happy and milky and unaware that she would never do this again. I knew she would never do it again...so I tried to commit each moment to memory...so that I might be able close my eyes and feel that moment one more time. I was not too sad about it since I had had SO much trouble to that point. The mastitis bouts were horrible and scary. Still, it was a little bit sad to know that this phase in our lives was coming to an end. I worried that it might affect our bond...though now I know that I shouldn't have. That child is SO attached to me. We are attached at the hip. Noone loves me like Clara does..noone. She lets me know it each and every moment of the day. She is my little chatterbox that follows me everywhere. She talks to me throughout the day and constantly tells me that she loves me...and that I love her, too. The way she says it is so sweet...the way she pronounces me, Mama...it is precious. I hope I never forget it. I want to remember how she says my name. I want to remember how she calls the toilet paper "pull tater". I want to remember how she calls her princess goggles for the pool her "gobbles". I loved the way she calls herself "Daddy's grill" instead of Daddy's girl. And I love the way she smiles when she says all of these things. She has the most beautiful smile. It is just sweet and fresh...and her blue eyes just seem to sparkle when she turns that big, beautiful smile on me. It melts my heart. She is such a gift. All of my children are and in such different and wonderful ways. So many times I wish I had slowed down and enjoyed my boys more. Just soaked up the little things, you know. Instead, we were always just looking for the next milestone and the next big step for them. Hurry, hurry, hurry...bring on the next phase. I am really cherishing Clara and her little phases. I feel like so many of them are just too short. I know that all of those milesones will come soon enough, will come whether or not I help it along. I know that soon enough, I will come to the startling realization that it has been a year since I last carried my sleeping baby up to her bed because she outgrew me. I just want to cherish and remember it. I hope that when I am an old lady with nothing but my memories, THAT is one of the memories I will have. I want to remember what it felt like to hold and rock my babies and have them lay all sleepy and trusting in my arms. Don't get me wrong. I hope I'll have TONS of memories when I am old and gray...I just hope that is one of them. Children are precious and I am thankful every day that we have ours.

Not much else in life going on around here. Chris is in San Francisco tonight. I am sitting around...catching up on my e-mail and blog. I am feeling thankful for my many, many blessings. Life is most definitely good here in the desert.

My boo boo baby with her GORGEOUS band aid! So pretty! 

Thank Goodness for Monday!

I am not usually a great lover of Mondays...with everyone having to jump back into routine and schedules and laundry and school and laundry and what not. However. I have to tell you that I greeted this Monday with open arms and spent hours over the weekend just willing it here. Clara was quite sick last week and through the weekend. It seemed for a while there that she would never turn the corner. We ended up in the E.R. on Friday night again...bless her heart...we thought she was never going to kick this thing. I had started to wonder if it could get any worse and then when I declared that it could not...it did. See, Clara started feeling better Saturday...not much, but some. And so we got out with her to run a couple of VERY short and low impact errands. When we returned her library books, she wanted to help to drop them in the hole. So I got her out of the car and let her help. Big mistake! On the way back to the car, she tripped and fell on the sidewalk, smashing her forehead on the concrete and split her head open. Nice little gash...front and center. I thought that it needed a stitch, but Chris thought not. I still think it did/does. But being as we had already had 2 trips of the emergency nature this week involving her, I hated to take her in again. I mean...enough already. So we bought a skin closure kit at Walgreen's and proceeded to tape her up so to speak and try to close the gap. I am hoping that it worked. Hoping, because I, as of yet, do not know for sure. We have not looked at or bothered it since it happened. We decided to clean it up good, tape it up good, and then let it sit for 24 to 48 hours before messing with it again to give it a chance to close up on it's own. I am SO praying that it worked and that we will not have to have any medical intervention. It would be rough on her.. and quite honestly, rough on me. On the bright side, she seems to be feeling much better today. She is happy and sassy and fever free. She has not required a breathing treatment in 13 hours now and seems most definitely to be on the mend. Praise God for that!

My Mother's Day weekend was nice...well, not the weekend really with all the fever and the new and improved forehead gash...but Sunday was nice. I took Max and Ben to church with me and Chris took Clara to Walmart to do the grocery shopping for us. So that was nice...I HATE grocery shopping. Then, I got everyone fed for lunch and down for a nap...well, just Clara down for a nap, and then Chris and I laid out by the pool while the boys played and swam. That was nice as the day was just gorgeous. Then I came inside and changed into my running clothes and Chris took Clara on an errand while I ran 4 miles on my new treadmill that Chris gave me for Mother's day! Then we put the kids to bed early and started watching a movie...Oceans 12. It was really good, but Chris and I were really pooped and could not stay awake very long. We were in the bed by 10 p.m. and sleeping like logs! Clara was up at 2:30 for a breathing treatment...but has not needed one since! I have to say that I have really never remembered being so glad to see Monday come! Hallelujah! Today has been good. I have gotten all caught up on the laundry...hooray! And got some vaccuuming done as well as the dusting of the downstairs. So all in all...today was good. We even went to the post office and to the library for new books and videos. So once again my friends, life is most definitely good in the desert!

V is for Virus

I just spent nearly 3 hours in at Urgent Care with Clara tonight. She was coughing horribly and running a high fever...all out of the blue. Whooping cough is going around so severely here, that I called the pediatrician to ask some questions. She thought Clara might have pneumonia and suggested she be seen in Urgent Care tonight...so off we went. Her temperature was 103 when we got there, bless her little heart. She was just burning up and limp and miserable. They gave her some Motrin to try to get the fever down and discovered she had an ear infection and major congestion as well...even though she has no outward signs of congestion at all. So we are on the big antibiotic Zithromax...which will clear the ear, and pneumonia should that end up being an issue...and the whooping cough...most importantly...it would clear up the whooping cough if that is what she had. So...I brought home a VERY exhausted little girl. I put her in some fresh jammies and gave her her first round of meds...she will need more tylenol at 10 p.m. and another Motrin dose at midnight. She is on limited activity status for the next couple of days. I just hope and pray that when she wakes up tomorrow, she is feeling a WHOLE lot better. She is very, very pitiful right about now.

Ben has a field trip to the zoo tomorrow. That should be fun for him. I have to make sure that he is all organized in the morning for that. He needs his hat and sunscreen and water bottle and a sack lunch...no lunchboxes tomorrow. He should just have a blast with his friends there tomorrow. The weather is supposed to be quite nice too! As for Clara and I...we will be sitting here at home, laying low and being quiet.

Chris is in New Orleans tonight. Out of town of course as we deal with this little Clara crisis. Hopefully this will be his last trip for a while now. We sure do like having him around here. And all heck seems to break loose when he is gone! That's the worst thing about it. As long as he is home...everyone is healthy and in one piece and life just trips on along. But as soon as he leaves, something major almost always happens! Just our luck!

Despite Clara's illness right now, life is good here in the desert. I am feeling more and more settled and feel like I am finding more and more friendly faces these days. I find myself looking forward to seeing all of these ladies again...it has been nice getting to know them just a wee bit.

No other news to speak of...that's all for us right now. Feeling blessed and just praying for our little girl. Life is good in the desert!

Whew!

That's about how I feel at the end of this day at the end of this weekend. It ended up being SO busy and fast paced. I am WIPED out! My feet even hurt tonight. We headed to church this morning. Sunday School went really well. I had several nice folks to talk to and enjoyed it a lot. Then Jackie met me there and we went to the worship service. It was okay...but I got paged to the nursery to get Clara in the middle. When I got there she had been crying and was all upset and couldn't seem to calm down. I took her into church with me and she fell asleep in my arms and slept through the service and all the way home and all the way to Jackie's and even slept a few minutes after we got to Jackie's house. I left her and Max there while I took Ben to a birthday party. It was TOTAL chaos! 20 kids turned out for a pool party. IT was crazy. I was SO tired and SO ready to leave when it was over! When I got back to Jackie's I found that Clara had wet her pants 3 times! She also wet them right before we left for church this morning. So I spent the rest of the day with her making sure she sat on the potty every 30 minutes to reinforce the no accident mantra. She seemed tired and went to bed quite easily. The boys...not so easily. Honestly...those two cannot follow simple directions to save their lives. Ben is fairly decent about following through on things...but Max...God love his soul...he can't remember ANYTHING for more than a few seconds. You send him to do something and then 15 minutes later he comes back...but he didn't do what you sent him to do. He doesn't even remember what it was you asked him to do in the first place. I have a saying with him. IMMEDIATE OBEDIENCE! It is the only way he can get things done. If he thinks to himself, "I'll do that in a few minutes.", then it NEVER happens because he has about a one minute retention for instructions. He is a procrastinator to top it off. And on the off chance that he actually does begin the task you gave him...he RARELY completes it. He somehow manages to get off task halfway through and never comes back to it. He just forgets what he was doing. So when he picks up his laundry...he usually gets distracted halfway through so that he may take downstairs his shirt and shorts...but not his socks. Or if I put his things in a pile for him to take upstairs...he may pick up the gameboy and the hat, but not the Spiderman car or the bouncy ball. And he could easily carry all of it...so that is not the issue if that is what you were thinking. No. He simply forgets what the task is halfway through. Is it making me crazy????? ABSOLUTELY!!!! Anyway. Tomorrow is a new day in a new week...so wish me luck! Chris will be home tomorrow night. Hooray! Oh...church was a good thing today. It felt like going home. I guess that really is where we belong after all. Life is good...albeit exhausting...in the desert!

Weekend Blues

This week has flown by. It has been in a busy week....more going on than usual for us. Also, Chris got back into town from France Sunday night and so we spent all week trying to catch up on the weekend that we missed together. Getting the new treadmill took 3 days really. One evening to go and look and pick it out, the next to assemble it after we picked it up and got it home, and the third evening to get all the wires all hidden and things all professional looking. Also, on Thursday night we had an invitation for a get together with some of Chris' coworkers. They are a super nice bunch of people and we had a really fantastic time with everyone. And so we blinked and it is Friday...which is usually Happy Day at our house, only not so much so today. Chris had to fly to Vancouver this weekend for a conference for work and won't be back until Monday night. So the kids and I are on our own for the weekend. It's not so bad I guess. We actually have several things to do this weekend so we won't be too terribly bored I suppose. Still, we miss seeing Chris a good bit. Tomorrow we are going to the park for a picnic with a couple of ladies that Chris works with. They both have children right around Clara's age. And Heather and Shauna are super nice people whom I have enjoyed getting to know...so that will be lots of fun. That is the only thing happening on Saturday. Then on Sunday, we are going to church and Sunday School in the morning and then Ben has a birthday party invitation for a pool party Sunday afternoon. Jackie is going to watch the other two rugrats while I go with Ben. That will last until after 4. Then we have to get it together and get everything that we need together for school on Monday and dinner and baths and what not. And before we know it we will be awaking to Monday and will hit the floor running for another exciting week. Next weekend, Chris' brother Todd will be visiting with Jackie from California. he usually tries to get home every Mother's Day....which by the way reminds me that I need to get cards in the mail for Cindy and my mom by Monday or Tuesday. I am excited about seeing Todd, but it will be another weekend that I either don't have or have to share Chris. I hate that. I am feeling PRETTY selfish with the hubby right now. Oh well. We shall make it and before we know it we will probably be sitting around staring at each other and wondering what we were thinking being all wishy washy about missing each other! Life is good here. I ran my first 4 miles on the treadmill this morning. It felt good. Though I did not sleep well AT ALL last night. I think I woke up about a hundred times. I think I might just have been really excited about my first treadmill workout and the plans that I made after that workout that I just didn't sleep. Needless to say...I was EXHAUSTED today and did not think that my coffee was EVER going to kick in this morning. It FINALLY did. After the 3rd cup! I laid down with Clara for a few short minutes this afternoon and got a bit of a second wind this evening. Though as I sit here I can feel myself winding down. And so...I am going to scoop up my little princess and throw her in the bed and head that way myself. Life is good in the desert. In the words of Martha Stewart...it's a good thing!

My desert crew in their Sunday best! 

Clara and Mommy just passing the day in the desert air conditioning! 

D is for Desert

I am learning lots of things about living here in the desert. For one....8:30 a.m. is WAY too late and too hot to go running with a 30 pound toddler in the jog stroller. Can you say HEAT STROKE??? All the water and sun visors in the world can't fix that one. Luckily I am a FAST learner and will not attempt that feat again for several months. That discovery actually led to my Mother's Day gift for this year....a brand new treadmill. It's a real beauty! It gets here tomorrow and I can't wait to have it here to use! It is a Nordic track with all sorts of bells and whistles. Chris also bought me a 15" flat panel t.v. to mount on the wall in front of it so I can be entertained while I crank out my 4 miles each morning. I think this is the most awesome Mother's Day gift I could have gotten....MUCH better than the scale I got for mother's day the year I was pregnant with Ben!

I saw my first rattlesnake of the season. It had tried to cross the road just up the street from our neighborhood, but luckily, someone ran over it! It was a big one! It was an eye opener. I know it is snake season...but yikes! There are no really good snakes in Arizona. If you encounter a snake, the chances are quite good that it is going to be one of 4 different types of rattlers. None of those little garden variety green grass snakes. I feel really happy that that rattler got run over. I know that there are still several thousand out there right in my general vicinity....however...that is one less that I have the chance to encounter...and I am WILDLY okay with that. I am NOT a snake lover. I am not a snake liker. The only snake I care to encounter in any shape, form, or fashion is a dead snake. PERIOD. I think that my most favorite months in the desert are going to be the cooler ones where there are less chances of encountering desert critters like rattlesnakes, scorpions, tarantulas and what not. Right now it is just getting hotter by the day and things get onery when it gets good and hot. Bring on October!

All else is good in the desert. I am going to a MOMS club meeting tomorrow morning at the park with Clara. I hope it goes well and we get to meet some people. I have been really lonely lately, but I really feel like that is all about to change. God is smiling on me...I just know it. I am happy, happy today. No real reason...life is just good I guess. God is good and is good to me.

Ben begins testing for the gifted program tomorrow. Not sure what to think of that. I think one gifted kid in this family is enough right now. But we'll at least see what they have to say about him.

I guess that is all for now. Incidentally...I am holding steady at 150 pounds this month. One morning I bounced up to 152...but have been hanging at 150 ever since. I think Chris is right. I gain all my water weight during ovulation. Hmmmmm. I hope the fact that I only hit 152 this month means I managed to knock off 2 pounds with all my hard work at the gym. Maybe it does...maybe it doesn't. We shall see soon enough! Buenas Noches!

Saturday Revisited

So today did not turn out quite the way that I thought it might. For starters...the birthday party we went to wasn't today after all. I had the day wrong. I ASSUMED that it would be on Saturday. Aren't most kid's parties on Saturday? They are back East. Not so here. The party is on SUNDAY at 12:15....not Saturday. So now, our church attendance will be a bit messed up as we have already told this family that we would be there. Had I known that it was on a Sunday I don't think that we would have accepted the invitation. Oh well. So instead of doing the party thing we decided to come on home and make the grocery list. But before heading off to Walmart, I thought that it would be nice to lay by the pool and soak up the sun a bit first. So I headed out there to relax for a few minutes and was quickly followed by Ben and then Max and then Clara. We got all changed into suits...sunscreened up and equipped with hats. I settled myself on my chair and we were out there....no kidding...5 minutes when a huge clap of thunder hit. Now, I have heard that Arizona lightning is very impressive, but I had no intentions of finding out about that with my kids in the pool. So out we all got and headed back inside to change clothes. We cleaned up and did some housekeeping stuff....Vacuuming, the usual. Then we headed to Walmart to take care of the grocery situation. After we got home we had a quick and nutritious meal of cold cereal and yogurt and then headed outside to play frisbee. This was made a bit difficult by the wind. But we played anyway until 7 p.m. when we headed inside for showers. As we came in the first major lightning began. And YES!!! Arizona lightning truly is impressive. It was a bright purple color...not white like I am used to seeing. Bright purple and it traveled horizontally instead of toward the ground. It was beautiful. And when it started it had just gotten dark, so it was really bright and obvious. I really enjoyed the show...Clara...not so much. She did not care for the big storm at all. Anyway...we sat in the dark, she and I for quite some time watching the storm blow through and then it was off for baths and finally....bed time! I DO SO LOVE bedtime. That hour when everyone is safely tucked in bed with heavy lids and the house gets this quiet over it...and things just slow down. Especially mommies! I have three great kids, but I would be lying if I said that I did not look forward to putting all three down for the night. I love them, I cherish them, and I thank God for them each and every day. But I love to put them to bed each and every night. Today was busy and not at all what I had planned. But it was a blessed day. I was reached out to and touched by a sweet and dear friend from Pensacola. It was just an e-mail...but it was nice to know that she thought of me and thought enough to tell me so. I am blessed to have such good friends. Admittedly, I have been very lonely since we moved here. And many of the people that I had counted as friends prior to our move have not since had the first e-mail or card or note for us to let us know that we are missed in any way. But my real friends still keep in touch. It does not seem to matter what my address is...they still reach out and I know that I am loved by these dear friends. And so in that arena...I was SO blessed today. And the nicest thing about those friends is that no matter how much time or distance there is between us....it's like we are still right there together when we talk. I love that about my friends. I am so blessed in my life. Life is good in the desert.

Saturday

Today is Saturday and we are off and running. We all slept in a little bit this morning...for a change. All the way until nearly 8 a.m. That is late for us. We have been hanging out around the house a bit doing dishes and what not and then in a little bit here we are off and running for the day. Ben has a birthday party to go to at noon and I have to drop Max and Clara off at Jackie's first. Then we head to the party. On the way back I am going to try to stop by WalMart to pick up a few things that we really need to get through the next few days. This is the time that our huge two week grocery run is due...but I don't know how I will get that done with the three kids and all we have going on. I HATE taking all three kids to the grocery store for anything more than a quick run in and out outing. Chris and I usually split them up when we shop so that it is easier on us. The next two weeks will be busy ones and it will be touch for us to work in a shopping trip together, so I am just going to have to do it in phases I think. Hating that idea because I HATE grocery shopping SOOOO much! But....oh well. The other option is to live off of peanut butter and jelly for two weeks...which I don't think Chris will really go for. So...we'll just have to get it done. All is good here. Life is looking up for whatever reason. Feeling happy today. Missing Chris and wishing he were around...but life is good just the same. Ben seems to be looking forward to his party...which is good. He tends to get really nervous about all of this stuff and doesn't want to go...but we are just over an hour away from party time and he still seems excited. Guess that is all for now. We're off to partyland. Life is good in the desert.

What Tomorrow Holds

It is funny how you never know what tomorrow will hold. I mean, we aren't even really guaranteed a tomorrow. Each and every day is a gift with no promises about any tomorrow. Oh sure...we make plans...but there is every likelihood we might not ever see it. I know that sounds depressing, but it is something that I am sitting here reflecting on right now. For example...Jennifer Holznecht, Ms. Sara Jo's daughter...here one day, happy, mother to four beautiful children, wife of a successful officer in the Navy, beautiful, friendly smile...then one day she drops suddenly in a seizure and within a way too short time she is gone. Had a brain aneurysm....and she NEVER saw it coming. Her life was over...just like that. And our friend Mike Weekly from our old church in Pensacola...great guy, so friendly, always smiling, trying to salvage a bad marriage, getting involved with mission trips at church, a real favorite among the children he always volunteered to work with. Mike was in a very serious auto accident last week and his life is changed forever. He is having his leg amputated tomorrow...another surgery in a long line thus far. His life has taken a very challenging turn and he will never walk another step the way he knew before the accident. He is fighting for his legs, fighting for his life. One day life was one way...and in a moment's time it is changed forever. We just don't know what life will hold. It is a lot to think about. Every day is a gift and I think that God really calls us to make the most of our time and talents. If we KNEW that tomorrow we might lose our legs....what might we do differently today? Or if we knew we would no longer be there to hug our children tomorrow...would we put them to bed differently tonight? Would we take long walks on our legs or run for miles? Would we give those babies extra hugs or read an extra story? Would we speak to them sweeter or hold them a little longer? Well friends...we have no promises about tomorrow....all we have for sure is RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. So as I reflect on the Jennifers and the Mikes of the world, I have to really ask myself...if there is no tomorrow, then what do I want TODAY to be? How do I want my kids and friends to remember me? What memories do I want left behind for others to treasure? Or not treasure so much? Each day is a gift and we are called to cherish it and live it to the fullest and to the glory of God. Each day is a gift....no promises beyond this very day, this evening, this moment. My prayer is that I embrace it and cherish it and live it in such a way that I'll have no regrets when I am called Home to live forever.

Lonliness

I am finding life in the desert, although very beautiful, to be very lonely. I miss my friends and my life I left behind to come here. I was never lacking for people to see or call and things to do and places to go. Here, life is different. I get my kids off to school in the morning and then find myself with just time. And no meaningful and good way to fill it. Oh, I go to the gym and my arms are shaping up nicely....but I am SO missing companionship. I miss morning phone calls from other stay at home moms....comparing days and husbands and adventures with our children. I miss running into people I know and play dates and church functions. It is partly my fault. I don't suppose I make friends all that easily. Something you forget when you are surrounded by friends that you have already made...but I do make good friends when I make them. My friends tend to be the very long term type. Not just here and there friends. I have a group of friends that I continue to keep in touch with ever since high school. 4 of them regularly. And we all live in different parts of the world and have completely different lives....yet we still stay in touch. I miss having someone to laugh with and pick up the phone and complain to and someone to suggest we go to dinner or lunch with. It isn't that I haven't run across some nice folks here....I have. But I have not clicked with anyone yet. And there is a huge void in my life where friends and activities used to be. I contacted the Mom's club representative this morning to get some information about that. She wasn't home....a sign? I did leave a message. I think it makes Chris crazy that I have no foundation and complain when he works impossibly long hours or is gone out of town for days at a time. He is the only person I have here that I know and can chat easily with and I miss him terribly when he is gone. It's like the void doubles then. So my new prayer is that God will send me a friend...not a fair weather occasional friend...but one who is there for the long haul. Someone who clicks with me. Someone who loves me and misses me and thinks of me through the day as different situations arise. I had some awesome people in my life in Pensacola...most of who I still keep up with and think about and pray for. Friends who will be dear to my heart forever and whom I still find my thoughts drawn to throughout the day....wandering what they are up to, what their kids are doing, etc. I just miss it so much. I don't have any regrets about moving here...I just miss my life I left behind. We have a nice life here...a beautiful home, family close by again, gorgeous scenery, good schools...but amidst all of that...a vast loneliness. I guess I am in a depressed place right now...but this too shall pass. Instead of focusing on what is missing, I will focus on what is not...on all the blessings that God has poured out on us in this place. I know that in time the friends will come...however...patience is not one of the blessings that God saw fit to pour out upon me yet!

148.8

I almost need say nothing else. That was the grand weigh in number this morning. I am so thrilled. Just hoping that I can hold my ground and stay there for the next couple of weeks while I see if Chris is right or not about me always gaining my weight,not during my period....but about 2 weeks later. So...game on. Wish me luck! Life is grand in the desert. The babysitter is minutes away and my husband and I are escaping or a nice, romantic dinner at The Melting Pot! Let you know how it goes later!

Sunday

Today was the Lord's day and we celebrated as a family, attending a church we recently began visiting. And I felt blessed as I sat there amongst the other worshipers and we raised our voices in song and praise. Blessed to sit there and feel at home, blessed to be hearing so many beautiful voices singing as one, blessed to be able to hear God's words, blessed to be here in Tucson. I often marvel at the circumstances under which we ended up here. I keep meaning to write down the story and so I am finally going to attempt to do so. Last May, Chris finished his MBA with Duke. He was doing well at Pall and we were quite happy with our lives in Pensacola. Since we were now equipped with his MBA and were surely destined for great things, we bought our dream house. A big beautiful, yellow, 2 story house with a huge front porch and a swing. As excited as I was about the new house (I picked it out after all), I had some anxiety and doubts about what we were doing. Would we be able to afford it? Would it be okay? Would we be able to make it? Nevertheless, we sold the house and moved to the dream house. It was in a beautiful neighborhood...The best neighborhood really. Big trees, beautifully kept houses seated on beautifully kept lawns. We had a pool and mounds of azaleas that would have been just fantastic in the spring. I don't know for sure because we were never there for it. See....A funny thing happened not too long after we bought the house. Chris went to a trade show (nothing too weird about that), but he forgot his business cards. He did however have a handful in his suitcase. Not ideal, but he handed out what he had and came on home. We got on with life. We had very lovely neighbors in that house. Fantastic really. My favorite was a dear southern lady that lived right across the street. Her name is Sara Jo and this lady will always hold a special place in my heart...forever. She is one of the wisest and most kind hearted people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I cannot begin to put into words how much I enjoyed this sweet lady's company. Over the summer we had the pleasure of meeting Sara Jo's daughter Jennifer and her lovely family. They were visiting from Turkey, where her husband Rich was stationed with the military. Jennifer was pregnant with their fourth child and in Turkey, the only option for giving birth is through c-section. Jennifer did not want this as her other three children had not been sections. So the whole family came to the states and stayed with Sara Jo and Bud (her husband) for about 10 weeks. We got the chance to know J a little bit and her sweet little boys Rich (5), Daniel (4) and Nate (2). J was as sweet and delightful as her lovely mother and I enjoyed all the coffee and chats that we shared. She was interested in homeschooling her children and I was able to pass on some information to her. At the beginning of September J and Rich welcomed their fourth child into the world and were overjoyed to be blessed with a baby girl....Savannah Jo. Jennifer was so thrilled to have a baby girl after 3 little boys. I remember that I took over the prettiest little pink dress for the baby when she was born and a little lacy gown with butterflies. She was just thrilled and said that the little dress was so pretty that she was planning to hang it on Savannah's wall as a decoration so she could see it all the time. Just two weeks after Savannah arrived, Hurricane Ivan arrived. Our family evacuated to Houston, Texas to my sister's house. The Clay family stayed there to ride out the storm. At the same time we were watching to see what path the hurricane would take, Chris got a phone call from a head hunter who told him that she wanted to talk to him about a position she had in Arizona. It turns out that she had picked up one of the handful of cards Chris had with him at the trade show where he had forgotten all of his business cards. Chris thanked her and told her that we were really not interested in moving...we had only been in our house for about 4 months...our dream house to be exact. She kept at him though and I told him to knock himself out....if he wanted to check it out then he should. I mean, I KNEW that we would never end up somewhere like Arizona. I wasn't worried. So if Chris wanted to see another part of the country so he could say he'd been there and possibly make a good contact for Pall...then great! So he finally agreed to fly out and at least talk to the folks...though neither of us really thought anything much about it. We did end up having to reschedule his flight to interview out of Houston instead of Pensacola because of the storm. But no big deal. Well, Ivan came and had his nasty way with us. He ripped off our roof and rain poured in. The ceilings upstairs collapsed and the carpet that we had just had put in upon moving into the house a few months before was now ruined. All of the ceilings downstairs took on water as well. Our pool was black (but we did find all of our missing shingles there). Coming home to that mess was tough. I could not believe what had become of our dream house. But alas, it IS only a house and we would just have to tough it out and fix it. And so we cleaned it all up and had the huge tree removed from the house and we got our blue tarp on the roof and just kept on living life. The insurance adjuster was very kind and generous to us and we resolved to just get it all done. . Well, time flew by and it was time to say goodbye to our new friend Jennifer and her little family. Rich had gone back to Turkey right after the hurricane, but J stayed on with the baby and the boys until little Savannah was old enough to fly. And when she was six weeks old we packed them up and said our goodbyes. Sara Jo was going back with her to help get all the little ones home....it is a 24 hour flight to Turkey from Pensacola. She was going to stay 2 weeks and then come back home....just in time for Halloween. The morning that they left I went over and said goodbye and I prayed with Jennifer and Sara Jo. We prayed for safe travel and thanked God for the opportunity that we had all had to get to know each other. I wished them well and hugged them goodbye and wondered how in the world I was going to get through two weeks without my wise and wonderful friend. In the midst of all of this Chris really liked Arizona and the company really liked him. They asked him out for a second interview and they wanted us both to come...so that I could see the area as well. I really liked the Oro Valley area...the mountains were beautiful. But more importantly, the look on Chris' face told me that he was absolutely in love with the place. He was totally happy in Oro Valley and so many of his interests were here. I decided that if he was that happy and had the opportunity to work at his dream job as it turned out to be....well than I would just have to follow him. Even if that meant leaving a life I loved back in Pensacola. The company made Chris an offer...which we had to turn down because it wasn't quite enough money to maintain our life at the level we had in Pensacola. We flew home and were home a couple of days when they made Chris another offer. We could not say no at that point. It was too good an opportunity. I was excited, but very nervous. On the same day that we committed to moving to Arizona we got some sad news. Jennifer, our neighbor's daughter over in Turkey had suffered a brain aneurysm and was not expected to live. And within 2 days she died. Just like that...a young mother of four precious little ones with her whole life ahead of her...gone. It was heartbreaking. I could not believe what had happened. At the same time I had been pondering on why we had bought a house and then were moving just a few short months later. And I was worrying about how in the world we would manage to sell a heavily damaged house without losing our shirts. It looked like a huge task and I had no idea how to sort it out. Sara Jo and Rich brought the children back from Turkey and their family prepared to bury Jennifer. I was so sad and hated to add the news that we were moving away to all the other news. And then...in the midst of all of the funeral and sadness....Rich approached us and told us he wanted to buy our house. Name the price....just like that. And then I knew why we bought that house and were only there such a short time. God used us to hold that home for Rich and his children. So that they could grow up with the comfort of having Jennifer's family right across the street. To be a part of their lives and a connection to her still, even though she was gone. The way God worked out all of those details is so amazing to me. So many things had to fall into place at just the exact time....there is no way that many coincidences could occur so accurately....this was God's work.....and then today I came across this verse that spells it out so clearly: Acts 17:26-27 says this: From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. (NIV)

See? God determined the TIMES SET FOR THEM and the EXACT PLACES THEY SHOULD LIVE. God's word is truth. He speaks to us and tells us his plans for us. I am so thankful that I serve such an awesome and powerful God...a God who works out all the details in such an amazing way. A God who in tragic and hard times can be so merciful and loving and amazing. I thank God for my new life here in the desert. I know that I am where He wants me to be.