Camping in the Rain!

We spent this past few days camping at Lake Roosevelt here in Arizona. We rolled in after dark on Wednesday night (which is always interesting if you've never been there!) and were thrilled to find some absolutely GORGEOUS surroundings when we awoke the next morning. We were camped next to a HUGE lake, ringed by gorgeous mountains...so scenic and lovely. It was pretty overcast in the morning our first morning there, but after our traditional pancake and eggs with bacon breakfast, our family headed down to the lake, fishing rods in hand. Those boys of mine (and my girl!) were pumped up to catch "the big one". They were equipped with all sorts of lures and bait and bobbers and other assorted fishing gizmos. They hiked down and picked the "perfect" spot. Everyone got their rods and ready and the fishing excitement began. Only it lasted a mere seconds...because within two minutes, two of the three kids had their lines tangled and snared on various bushes and trees and what not. Poor Chris (who was SO looking forward to do a little fishing on his own) spent the next 15 minutes wrestling the poles free of the snares that held them. We snapped one line, saved the other...and decided we'd best find another "perfect" spot. We found one and the fishing adventures began all over again!

After restringing the line we snapped at our previous "perfect" spot, we soon had all three lines in the water and everyone was anxiously watching their bobbers. That lasted about 2 minutes before Clara was bored and not at all happy about not landing "the big one". We continued to try our hand for a little bit but eventually conceded defeat. Fish-ONE, Roberts Family-ZERO!

After lunch, the kids headed up the playground there at the campground and had the time of their lives! I can't remember when I've enjoyed having my camera so much as I did that afternoon. I loved watching their huge smiles and hearing their intoxicating laughter as they enjoyed the simple pleasures of childhood. Just running and playing and laughing and loving everything about being a child and the freedom they had that day! It was magical and we passed a LOT of time there on that playground...none of really aware of it as we just enjoyed the time and the play. Their smiles were just so beautiful that day. So free and so huge and so bright!

The kids were completely oblivious to the clouds that kept building throughout the afternoon. They just ran and played. The playground had swings...which are Clara's absolute favorite. There aren't many parks here that have swings, so when Clara finds one...she is in heaven! Not only did they have swings, but they had a tire swing. And that was an unbelievably huge hit among all three kids. They spun around and swung...they performed amazing feats of jumping out of the swings at dizzying heights (which incidentally gave their poor mom a heart attack when I went to edit these pictures!) and they just soaked up the moment there with all that swing action!

Not long after we called it quits and headed back to our campsite, the gentle rain started. Nothing big. Just a drizzle. But it practically never stopped the rest of the weekend! We ended up stuck inside the camper all day Friday. We got out for just a short time and went to visit the Tonto National Monument and saw the cliff dwellings of the Salado people. VERY cool. Really, really neat. I just wish the weather had been a bit nicer. It didn't rain on us while we were at the monument...but pretty much every second thereafter...it rained!


We spent the time together playing all sorts of games. We played Spoons, and Uno and Old Maid and Go Fish. Then we played them all again. We watched the Sound of Music and snacked and chatted. It was amazing that noone killed each other or came close seeing as we were in such close proximity for such a long time! Somehow in the midst of all the noise (Spoons is a VERY lively game among my crew), Chris managed to curl up and go to sleep...snores and all! Go figure! Later in the day Chris and the boys struck out for a drive just to get out. For some reason they didn't want to watch the Sound Of Music with Clara and I. Go figure! After they got back we grilled our steaks in the rain and had a delicious dinner, then went on the curl up together and watch some more movies. We were ready at that point to just get on out of there! We got up really early and prepared to head out. And after a long weekend of rain and cold, we emerged from the camper this morning to find the sun, shining bold and beautiful, warm and inviting and it was all just amazing. Of course...too little to late! We had to get back. But we were all glad to see the gorgeous surroundings and how pretty it all looked in the sunshine! We will definitely go back and visit that one again. It was a nice weekend...rain and all!

A New Week, A New Attitude

I have to admit that I have spent the first part of this year feeling rather out of control. Those that know me best know that that is not a realm that I can function in very well. I just like to be the one in control...you know...of everything...more or less. But this year has thrown me some real curve balls...lots really and I found myself struggling with all of the "uncontrolled" things going on around me. HOWEVER...that said...I have had a couple of friends who were fantastic sounding boards for me and who were infinitely patient in listening to my rantings and ponderings and who offered me some TOUGH, but ever so love filled feedback. And as I head back into this week I am feeling a touch of control come back over me. At least in a couple of areas! I am feeling a lot better about my business in 2008. I have had a huge range of emotions where that has been concerned. Everything from really frustrated, to really sad, to really, really, really MAD and now I am just really peaceful about it and the direction that it will head in in this new year. I have learned a LOT this past year. Thankfully, I'm a fast learner and a quick study and I have seen the error of my ways. I am putting several new things in place in the new year that I feel like will help me immensely. And that's a good thing! So I am happy in that realm again.

We have been visiting the Oro Valley Church of the Nazarene. We have enjoyed it on a lot of levels. Not so much on others. The pastor is pretty good. He preaches a great message...a bit simple...but always with a solid, relevant to life, real point. And I do so love a good relevant point in a sermon. As a matter of fact...I can pretty much remember every sermon he has preached since we started visiting in December...which is pretty impressive really. He manages to get his sermons stuck in my head and on my heart so that I revisit them often in the week! My only real complaint...well two really..are these. First of all, the music is pretty bad. Now...I'm not one to really get all hung up and uptight on music...but the music there is especially challenging for me. The mics are always too LOUD. ALWAYS. The voices of the praise team don't blend. They fight with one another and all too often I catch myself wondering if they even ever practice the pieces they sing because they seem to miss their cues fairly often. There was a duet last week that was just downright painful. It sounded like two cats being drawn and quartered. I was literally squirming and wincing in my seat. The other complaint that I have is that the people are not nearly as lovely as our friends back at Catalina. They all seem pretty old really. So there's that. I still wish we could just fly back to Pensacola every weekend for some good old southern baptist worship time in our old church. I'm not totally happy in this realm...but that's nothing new in the three years since we moved here. On the bright side...this pastor does not seem to be a crier...those make me crazy!

Everything else is okay too. We have adjusted to life without Casey and even Oscar seems to finally be settling down. He isn't eating the house at least. Of course...I'm sticking his hairy little jaws in the kennel whenever I leave...that definitely helps the house eating problem! I still catch something here or there out of the corner of my eye from time to time that makes me think it's Casey. I'm just so used to having her around. I don't think a day has gone by that I don't think about her. But we have all adjusted well for the most part.

What else? Chris has a new truck. Ford F-250 Super Duty. It's obnoxiously big...like OBNOXIOUSLY! It's beautiful for sure. But BIG, BIG, BIG! And last week we ordered our next travel trailer...a 30 foot fifth wheel. We are all very excited about that. It should be here within 8 to 10 weeks if not sooner! So this summer's camping will be WAY, way awesome!

The best news of 2008? We scheduled a sister's weekend at Nikki's house in North Carolina for April! I cannot WAIT to be out there and see my sisters and my nephews and the green of North Carolina! I am SO so excited about that!

I think that's about all the news for now! My heart is settled and quiet again and I think I am done with my crankiness for a bit! I think it helps that our bible study started again this past week. We are doing Beth Moore's Jesus the One and Only study this time around. It's a smaller group than normal...but so lovely. It was SO nice to get back into the word and into a study pattern and a habit of spending time with God again. I think that's where the greatest contribution to my peace came from! It's a new week in this new year and I'm equipped with a new attitude. And it's all good!

Happy Valentine's Day!

JAWS

Since we had our dog, Casey, put to sleep last month we have been dealing with some new and very unpleasant behavior issues with Oscar. For one...he is eating our house. Literally...eating our house. The bannister railings specifically. One of them is now chewed three quarters of the way around and at least half way through the wood. Mama ain't happy. Then there's everything else that keeps finding it's way into his little mouth of destruction. Like the tissue box, the books, the shoes, the papers, the contents of the wastebasket, the plants, the toys, etc. You get the picture. I have repeatedly sprayed the railings with something that supposedly tastes nasty...to no avail. We had him neutered on Friday and Chris assured me that that would make a difference for him. My immediate thought was that I doubt it...I mean...the end they are doing surgery on is NOT the end eating my bannister after all. And sure enough...true to my thought cycle it does not seem to have slowed him down at all! Apparently his testicles were not attached to the jaws of destruction in any form or fashion! And apparently it does not really cause pain or suffering to the surgery site when he sits and just eats on the house. And so. After today's TOTAL destruction of the plant Chris gave me for our anniversary (now wasn't that a totally silly gift for me...the woman of the total black thumb...I mean really...you'd think after 14 years he would know better!) I have to step up and play totally mean mom (a role that I am intimately familiar with nowadays) and our dear Oscar will now be going into the kennel when we leave the house. The family is fairly horrified over his impending fate...however, I, quite frankly, am sick of finding destruction every time I leave the house for 5 minutes. And so drastic times call for drastic measures. Oscar had "issues" with the kennel before. He would cry and drool horribly while we were gone. We even bought him some chamomile tablets that are supposed to calm him while we are gone. But they didn't help a bit. And I just hate it for him...but at this point I feel like we have to do something while we still have a house to live in! It's rough days ahead for the Roberts family, especially Oscar. Keep us in your prayers! Heaven knows we could really use them right about now!

Why I Hate 2008....so far

January 1-broken hand for Chris
January 7- surgery to wire together broken hand
January 7-had to put dog to sleep
January 10- Clara gets bad case of strep throat
January 18- my crazy lady client resurfaces with another new and totally complicated and impossible order(someone must really hate me!)
January 21-Max gets nasty cold
January 25 Clara catches Max's nasty cold
January 29-equipment failure in the studio mid-shoot...$100 to fix it and the parts are backordered (naturally!)
February -lucky us...2...that's right TWO, MANDATORY science fair projects due
February 3- I get nasty stomach bug thing...lasts 5 days (so far)
February 5- Clara's cold turns into bronchitis and we end up in Urgent Care
February 6-our kid gets hit on the bus by another kid (so much for "hands are for helping, not for hurting!)
February 6- Clara's cough gets worse and she ends up needing cough stuff with codeine to knock her out enough to rest
February 6- Mother Nature arrives with a vengeance...once again, husband rejoices that we are not pregant (duh!)
February 7- Clara suffers first ashtma attack in over a year. Back on albuterol.

You know...it's nearly comical at this point. In a really scary kind of "I'm not real sure I want to wake up and face another day" kind of way. We are exactly 38 days into the new year. Right now there is some unpleasant or mildly catastrophic event occuring once every 2.71 days. Yeah. So...I am finding myself to be a bit on the pissy side of life right about now. I know the bible says to "Give thanks in all circumstances..." but I'm struggling a little bit on that one right here today. I'm thankful that even though we are nearly all sick and/or broken, we are indeed a family that loves one another deeply. I am thankful that I have wonderful friends who have so consistently loved and encouraged me over these past few weeks...even when the first words out of my mouth when I see them are "You should know I am totally bitchy today". They love me and want to hang out with me anyway. I am thankful that my two boys have been so unbelievably sweet the past couple of weeks that I spend a good part of each morning just thanking God for them and their sweet and cooperative dispositions. And I am really, really thankful that I have been spared this crappy luck in life prior to this point and that I can recognize it for what it is and really and truly appreciate those times in life when the winds are still and the waters are calm. That said...personally...I am ready for 2009. I have had quite enough of 2008. It's a year that hasn't really suited me. No thank you. I've had enough.

I've Been Tagged!

I was tagged by Mandy, so here goes!

Here are the rules:
1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers.
2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name).
3. After you are tagged, you need to update your blog with your middle name and your answers.
4. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and that they need to read your blog for details).

R -Roses are beautiful flowers and I have only received a dozen of them exactly three times in my life...upon the birth of each of our children!

E- Eggs...I'm not a big fan of them...especially the yellow part!

N- News...I rarely watch or read it. There's already too much crap in my life without adding the world's to the pile!

E- Excited about camping this summer with my family at the grand canyon, Zion and Bryce Canyon

E- Exasperated with the way this year is going so far.

i am tagging- Mary, Nikki, Wanda, Angelica and Donna.

2008 Just Keeps Getting Better...NOT!!!

So, January totally sucked for the Roberts household. Broken bones, surgeries, strep throats and dead dogs...for starters. Everyone assured me that we were just getting it all out of the way and behind us. I am sitting here tonight to report that that simply does NOT seem to be the case. I spent all afternoon in the Urgent Care with Clara this afternoon. Sore throat, fever, chills, tight chest cough. Despite Tylenol her fever continued to rise on up. Turns out that they think she is suffering a good case of bronchitis. Never any fun in a child with an asthma history. While she sounded fairly clear today lungwise and was moving air well...her oxygen levels were way down. Not at all where they should be considering everything that seemed so good for her. So they think the throat is hurting because she has been coughing for 11 days straight (it didn't look streppy or patchy) and the fever is a result of the bronchitis settling in and taking over. So. Innocent little sniffles have turned into yet another ordeal for this lovely year! Bless her little heart, the child is beyond miserable tonight. She is achy and feverish. She says her eyes hurt and that she is "so, so freezing". That would be the temperature of 101.7 that I put her to bed with. Can this family not catch a break? I mean...who's sh_t list did we end up on anyway that we deserve all this lousy treatment?! This momma is just frustrated tonight. She is tired and she is cranky and she is just really done with this year. Fast forward to 2009 already! This year just really isn't working out for me! I'm generally a person who looks forward to the future...but I am more than a little weary and I am a WHOLE lot of WARY about what might be lurking around the corner for us right now! I'm thinking that I am just going to have to get REAL content right now with life as it is here and now...bronchitis and all. I am VERY thankful that it is not worse than it is. Because I do know that it could be. But I hope that this really truly is the end of the trials and that there is some sweet rest and quietness to life ahead for this weary family!

Ballerina Girl...

You should see my baby girl dance. When she enters ballet she is simply in another world. She is so focused and so serious and so beautiful out there...holding her head high and so gracefully performing her little routine. It is such a total Swan Lake moment for her! Tonight at ballet they got their first look at their costumes. They are simply beautiful. Just lovley in every way. And I have to say that Clara looked like an angel in it. I nearly cried right there in class. Seeing her in that tutu looking so beautiful and regal. That girl has real presence in a tutu...no doubt about that. She's so tall and so thin and so strikingly pale and those blue eyes of hers just pierce you to the core. She looks so lovely. Anyway...she looked like an angel. Just a beautiful little angel!

And can I just brag on my sweet Ben. He takes a shower...comes down half wet and pajamed. I ask him...did you shower? "Yep" he says...."Want to smell me?" I passed on the sniff test...but when I kissed him on the head he smelled SO good and fresh and sweet. Sweet like my Ben!

And Max...I am amazed at that one. Since I went to Hawaii and my dear sister watched over him he has made a miraculous appearance in the kitchen every morning without my yelling or having to get the crow bar to get him out of bed! He has shown up in the kitchen each morning, unsummoned, with his clothes on and his bed made...getting his breakfast and being totally ready for school without one bit of help from me. It's been bliss. SO much less hectic and so much more relaxed in the mornings. It's been a wonderful week!

And so...can I just say that tonight...I adore the three kids that God saw to bless me with! I just love them. I love their dancing and their sweet smells and their cooperative spirits in the morning. And I love the way they hug me when I come home each day and the way they linger in the kitchen to talk to me about their day. I love the way they are excited about life and I love their blue blue eyes. I love their spirited little selves and the adventures that we are having with them. I am so blessed to have these three little people in my life!

I'm Thinking About...

adding pet photography to my offerings. I have done several now...only one being my very own. And I have to say that I really do enjoy that. It's a WHOLE new set of challenges and adventures...but I think I really like that. I had a couple of dobermans in a couple of weeks ago...I was nervous about them...but they were so delightful and photogenic. And then tonight I had two beagles that were just so fun. They were all howling and wanting to go play elsewhere...it was just fun. Somthing new and refreshing. At times I think it might be nice to never photograph people...just pets. They are WAY less sassy than my average 2 and 3 year olds! They don't dismiss me even before I take the first picture. They don't pronounce me "all done" and they generally look right at you when call their name or make a funny noise. Kids are amazingly immune to the sound of their own names! I am feeling restless with my photography right now I think. Maybe that's why I welcome the change so...Something new. A new learning curve. Something totally unpredictable in life to dance with! I'm kicking the idea around. I definitely like what I've done so far. And it's been fun. I'm not so against the idea of moving out of my comfort zone anymore. I really REALLY fought the idea of outdoor photography...but I feel like I've really kind of learned a whole lot in that area and I really enjoy it now. Before I literally lost sleep if I had an outdoor session or anything with any sort of natural light at all. But I am pretty happy with what's coming out of those sessions here lately. So that's good. And at one time I DEFINITELY shuddered at the thought of pet photography...but here tonight...I find myself thinking it might be a good bit of fun! And while I can grumble over my two and three year olds...on some deep level I think they are my favorites! Talk about wild cards! You just don't know what in the world they will ever do! What a totally fun and versatile job I have created for myself here! I feel like one of the luckiest ladies on the planet tonight! Dogs...Kids...Moms...Dads... Grandparents...it's all good!

More Hawaii Pictures

Luau!

Day two of Hawaii was yet another day of fun and sun here on the Big Island! I started the day with another walk down the beach while Chris was in his meetings. I came upon another sea turtle, freshly climbed up upon the beach. She was still wet and glistening with sea water and just laying there sunning herself so peacefully. So of course...lots more pictures! I find them to be so facsinating and would love to see one swimming underwater...but only if I was underwater with a camera in my hand! Not sure if that is going to happen! Anyway. That was a neat thing. I found two more heart shaped rocks on the beach and a huge heart shaped chunk of lava rock! Isn't that so cool?! Then Chris and I walked over to the King's shops and had lunch, then returned to the resort to lay by the pool and listen to the crashing waves on the beach. Not a bad way to spend the afternoon really! Then we hit the fitness center for a quick workout. I got in just over a three mile run, and then it was time to head upstairs and shower because Chris had gotten us tickets to the LUAU!!! How fun! I have to say the Luau was NOT what I was expecting...at all! There were no roasted pigs and only a couple of hula girls in grass skirts. As we are there we find out it isn't really a Luau at all, but a Polynesian dinner and theatre...but we were there and that was that. They had tables of food from all of the Polynesian islands. I can't say that it was all yummy...but it was all interesting, for sure! Oh...and there were unlimited Mai Tais to be had...all you could drink! Now those...YUMMY! So we ate and sampled all sorts of interesting things and drank beautiful Mai Tais (they all come with these beautiful blossoms in them!) and watched the show. It was a delightful evening to be sure! I will post pictures here with this entry when I get back! So if you are reading it now sans pictures...you will have to tune back in later! Then we returned to our resort and sipped wine by the pool while Chris and his coworker got some work done. It's a rough life here in Hawaii...what a pace! All this relaxing can really wear a girl out! We fell into bed exhausted last night and slept deeply and soundly. Today is another gorgeous day here in Paradise! Chris has headed down to meeting and I am going to clean up our little room here and head back down to the beach. I think we are going to spend ANOTHER day relaxing and laying out by the pool! Tomorrow we are heading over to Volcanoes National Park to see the lava flows and hopefully a botanical garden or two! Until then! Aloha!

Aloha!

I am posting this blog entry from Kona, Hawaii. Also known as the Big Island. We are staying at the Marriott Resort here...I wish I could recall the name...or the spelling...but alas, it escapes me! I spent my first morning here walking the beach here. It's a tropical paradise! The sand is soft...not firm like in San Diego and it definitely shifts when you walk in it. There is NO running on the beach here. This paradise was not meant for that hurriedness! No. It's a walking beach. There are few to no shells on the beach. The sea does not toss it's treasures upon the sand to be found by chance like at other beaches, but rather, it invites you into it's crystal clear, blue waters to search and choose those treasures that you would like. That is part of the adventure. However the beach revealed plenty of treasures today, even upon the warm, brown shifting sands. I found three beautiful heart shaped rocks, for starters. I was thrilled with them and was so happy with my collection of these that I nearly stumbled upon my next treasure. There, RIGHT at my feet, was a large sea turtle, sunning herself on the warm sand in the morning sun. WOW! I've never seen a real one up close. She was so ugly...and yet so very beautiful in her own way. I took lots of pictures...of course! It was awesome! But you have to wait until I get home in order to see those! After my walk on the beach Chris and I struck out for a drive across the island. We came upon a beautiful Japanese garden. SO beautiful. I just loved it. And had lunch in a little pizzeria in a quaint little town just up the road. We saw clouds, and snow high on the mountaintop. We saw pasturelands and land that looked much like our desert at home. We saw tropical beaches and rain forest-like areas. And we saw total slumlike dumpy areas. And that was just the top part of the island. Tomororw we are off onto different adventures. Who knows what the day will hold for us!

In the meantime, in true Roberts fashion in this new year of 2008, the Roberts kids (who I left behind in the tender loving care of my sister) are all attempting to come down sick. Maxwell started at the ripe old hour of 4 a.m. screaming with a temperature and dire misery. We decided it best that he see the doctor, so poor Donna sat through the pediatrician's office this morning while they ran test after test to see if they could determine the source of Max's misery. Everything came back negative. Possibly just viral. So she has dealt with his misery all day long, and then this afternoon Ben started complaining as well. UGGGH! I am going to be SO mad if those boys miss school tomorrow Donna doesn't get a break. I'm not totally sure that they are really sick. I have a hunch that they are just so excited and glad to have my sister there that they are suddenly coming down with great illness to avoid having to go to school and miss out on the fun. In all fairness, Max did run a temperature in the night. But still. I am not totally convinced of their illness levels as the school hour draws nearer and nearer. It has certainly made relaxing in Hawaii a bit of a challenge knowing my children are ill!

More updates soon to come from this land of paradise! Until then! Oh...pictures are of the sea turtle and of the island resort where we are staying!

So Hard to Say Goodbye

Today, we had to make the decision to let our beloved dog, Casey, go. She was fourteen years old and her health was failing rapidly before our eyes. This past week she had seemingly gone totally blind, mostly deaf, was getting up on her feet less and less and was not sleeping through the night. Last night she got stuck in our bathroom closet. I was in there putting some laundry away and she came in...but when she went to leave, she could not seem to find the doorway and was trapped and confused for some time. It was all I could do to guide her out of there. I realized then that she really was totally blind. Then, when I let her out to go potty for the night I watched in horror as she walked right into the cactus. And I knew then that she was no longer safe. I wrestled with the decision all night long and this morning, on the way into Chris' surgery we discussed her situation and we both felt it would be in her best interest to let her go before she hurt herself badly. It was a painful decision to be sure. Then I had the rest of the day to just agonize over it while Chris was in the operating room. By the time I got him back home from the procedure I knew that my time with Casey was short. I spent it just sitting in the floor with her. Petting her and just being with her. She hardly lifted her head. I think she was ready. I gave her some yummy Black Forest ham as a treat, and then Chris and his mom took her to the vet and that was it. I have cried at least a million tears since two o'clock this afternoon. Ended up with a fierce migraine. Not fun! So far...2008 has SUCKED for this family. First the hike with the broken hand. Then the surgery. Now the dog. And it's only the first seven days. Good grief! I know that Casey is resting well tonight. That she is not thirsty, or hungry or aching or hurting in any way. More importantly, I know that she is safe. And that she went in a calm and loving and peaceful way. That we loved her enough to not endanger her and that we were selfless enough to say goodbye before she was in desperate pain or suffering. It's pretty much been one of the worst days of my life. So far, the worst year...no doubt about that. Everyone keeps telling me that the worst is behind us and it can only get better from here. I sure hope they are right. That was the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life. I hate knowing that I had a hand in her death. I am still really, really grappling with that tonight. My mind wanders in a thousand directions on that one. I keep seeing her sweet little face and sad little eyes and I just can't believe she is not with us tonight...and it's my fault. I know deep down it's for the best. But my heart and my head and my deep down can't seem to get on the same page tonight. Chris keeps telling me it was the right thing to do. That she would never have gotten any better. Only worse. And I know that. I really do. It's still hard to sit here tonight knowing she's gone. The vet said she had all the symptoms that her body was shutting down. Chris did not stay all the way until the end. That is my one regret about not going with her. I would have seen it through to the end. To the last moment and the last breath. But he didn't. He left her there, in the care of strangers. Casey always hated the vet. I hate myself more than a little bit tonight that I wasn't there for her. That noone that loved her was there for her at the very end. That one's going to haunt me for a long time. I hate having to say goodbye. I hate having regrets. I hate this year.

And The Verdict Is...

BROKEN! Yep. Chris has broken his hand and we are heading into surgery first thing Monday morning. Now how is THAT for a start to the New Year? UGGGHHH! I certainly hope this is not an indication of the year ahead of us! Timing couldn't be worse since we are heading to Hawaii in just over two weeks! I guess Chris will be going all screwed and casted! Those of you who are praying folks can just start praying for Chris and I right now. Chris for rapid, supernatural healing. And me for the strength to endure the whininess that is sure to come with all of this fun surgery stuff. I think I'm gonna have me four kids instead of three for a while here and I have to say that I already find 3 to be QUITE enough! So prayers for me to be brave and sensitive through all of this. I know Chris is in lot's of pain and the past week hasn't been a bit of fun at all for him. Now...I do have to say here that IF he had listened to me and gone on into Urgent Care as soon as it happened, we might well have gotten through all of this process faster and have this whole surgical adventure behind us by now. A real "I told you so" kind of situation...but hey...men are so danged stubborn sometimes! Now that I think of it, why don't you throw in an extra prayer for his stubborness to be healed too!

What else is going on in our house? Well. The kids and I just got back from a fantastic visit with my sister in Phoenix. My kids all adore her and her husband so much! It was fast and furious (seems that's the only speed life moves at these days!), but so much fun. It's scary how much alike my sister and I are...especially since we did not grow up together. But we have crazy similar tastes. And pretty much the exact same tastes in clothes. I love shopping with her because we love all the same things. And if one of us tries on something and it looks good, then it's almost guaranteed to look good on the other! We're pretty much the same size too....so we just always look for two of the things that we love the most! I love that she lives so close now and that I get to see her. Though it always leaves me wishing I could visit even more often! Next time I head up there I'm going sans kiddos! And staying overnight and it's going to be girl time all the way! I can't wait! Okay...back to getting caught up with life around this dirty house!

New San Diego Pictures

Here are some of my favorite pictures from our Christmas break camping trip to San Diego! My dear friend helped me out on a few so I am actually in three of these! A RARE, rare occurence to be sure! Enjoy!

Off To A Rough Start

Chris and I decided to celebrate the new year with a hike through Pima Canyon. It was SO very beautiful! Gorgeous really. We hiked three miles into the canyon. We had picked up Subway sandwiches and were looking for our "perfect" spot to sit down and enjoy our lunch...when Chris slipped on a big rock and took a rather nasty fall. He did manage to save it some. If he had fallen the direction he was heading, he would have most certainly broken his arm. He managed to twist himself a bit though and landed hard on his side with his arm slightly behind him. Unfortunately, his hand was in the way and we think it might be rather broken. We saw our doctor friend and her family there at the canyon. She looked at it and after a very gentle pressure about made Chris do a back flip there in the parking lot, her professional opinion was that he should definitely have it x-rayed. He is off to the doctor as I type this and will begin the x-ray process to determine the diagnosis. It was swelling yesterday and his pain level is quite high. It had him awake several times in the night as well and he quite willingly sought medical attention this morning (he would not even entertain the thought last night, stubborn man!). So...we are awaiting the verdict on the broken hand this morning and will proceed accordingly. I managed to turn my ankle on the hike as well. It wasn't too bad until last night. Then it really, REALLY started hurting a bunch. I took some stuff and then this morning it feels just great. Go figure. Needless to say...our New Year is off to a bit of a rough start! I hope it is not any indication of the year ahead for us!

Melting Bird Mutant and Other Ponderings

So...it's the last day of the year 2007. I have spent this morning reflecting on this past year...the good and the bad! Our family has been so very blessed this year. We had great adventures camping. We saw Oak Creek Canyon, the Grand Canyon, Zion National Park, the Chiracahuas, Parker Canyon Lake, San Diego and Patagonia Lake...to name a few. Max and I travelled to Michigan for the Odyssey of the Mind competition (that would fall a good bit short of the "good" reflections list!). We added Oscar to our family (what a joy he is!) My oldest started middle school (oh, the mommy's heartbreak!) and my baby started kindegarten! I had a crazily blessed year with my photography (who knew?!) and I was blessed and humbled beyond belief through my work with both the American Child Photographers Charity Guild and Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. My oldest sister moved to Arizona and I have had wonderful, frequent visits with her. I got to visit with all of my sisters AND my cousin to boot this spring! And we saw both my parents, and Chris' Dad and stepmother and two of his three sisters...plus both of his brothers this year. All in all it has been an awesome and exciting year. There have been some not so awesome things for sure. It has been a year of many injuries. I herniated a disc in January and that took me out of the gym for nearly two months. That was not fun. I've had to baby the stupid injury all year long. I managed to badly sprain a hip flexor...again, not fun. Oh...and let's not forget the broken toe episode! THAT one was no fun for sure! I have become increasingly convinced that my body thinks it is part bird. My arms continue to try to morph into wings, despite my constant efforts and remindings that they were most definitely NOT made to fly. That whole effort has been to no avail. My "wing-wannabes" continue to increase in flap capacity by the day it seems! In addition to my new and improved "flaps", I seem to be melting...or maybe just succumbing to some supernatural and unusually strong gravity force? There is much fluff...and spillage around my waistline. It's like the fat is just melting right over the top of my jeans and reaching for the floor. It's particularly striking with the winglets I have going on. Talk about "See it jiggle...see it wiggle..." Oh yeah. It's something to behold right now. I am now on a mission...not because it's the new year...no, this is one of those really annoying ongoing kinds of issues..but I am on a mission to tame the beast of flab. It will be NO small feat. I am afraid drastic measures are ahead. I did get a great run in this morning. 6 miles! Hooray. That was worth 900 calories according to my treadmill. One day at a time. One mile at a time. Like the commercial for SmartStart cereal...I am one mile stronger now. Well, actually, 6 miles stronger. But I was honestly ready to quit at the 5 mile mark. But I did one more. So I'm one mile stronger now. Now if I can only be one pound lighter or one inch less fluffy! Oh well. It's a new year, with new adventures and new challenges ahead. I am ready to face whatever comes. The good and the bad. I know that this is the year that we will say goodbye to Casey. At fourteen she is quickly fading. We see changes in her nearly daily now. She is holding her own, but we know her time is near. That will be sad to say goodbye to her since she has been with us since nearly the day we said "I do". I am excited about my bible study group this year. We are ten ladies strong right now and they are an AMAZING group! We have had such fun this year! We have a lot of travel on the calendar already! Chris and I are off to Hawaii in January...without kids! In March we are flying to Montana for Spring Break so Chris and the kids can ski. Then we are off to the North Rim of the Grand Canyon, Zion and Bryce National Parks the end of May. We hope to spend 4th of July back in San Diego again, and we plan to travel to Italy again (this time without kids!) in the fall! That's all that's concrete right now...but I am sure there will be a few other trips thrown in there where we can! I don't know where my photography business will go this year. I gained MANY new clients this year. More than I ever could have imagined! I am going to just hang out and see where that goes. I am definitely NOT ready to advertise. I know that for sure! I had my hands full as it was with just the referrals. I am going to definitely be more careful about scheduling...and I am enlisting a fulfillment site as well to help take the pressure off of me this year. It means prices will go up...both for sitting fees as well as prints. Not too, too much. But I am not able to keep up with all the processing AND my housework AND my kids AND my exercise. So I am going to use that to make my life easier. I guess I should give everyone a heads up on that lest they need to get things ordered before I get all of that set up and transitioned! Anyway. That's my New Year reflections...sort of. Ramblings more like! What a great year this was. How very blessed and how very, very rich.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, Everyone! What a lovely day! It has been a whirlwind few days for us! We spent the 21st through the 24th camping at Carlsbad State Beach in San Diego with some dear friends. Fun, fun, fun! Pictures to come! Then we hauled it back in here to Tucson on Christmas Eve....arriving home all campfire lovely and windblown at 5:20 p.m. We managed to shower all five of us top to bottom, change into our Sunday best and attend Christmas Eve services at 6:30. I have to admit that even I was impressed at that little feat! Then Chris' parents and his brother and his wife and her niece all came over and joined us for snacks and family fun while we exchanged gifts with one another. It was nearly 11 p.m. before we had everyone to bed and the guests all on their way. Then Chris and I had another hour and a half or so of little tasks to take care of in preparation for Christmas morning. We hauled our exhausted selves into bed a little before one a.m. and snuggled down for a good nights sleep. Or so we thought. Maxwell came screaming into our bedroom at 4:30 this morning shouting his excitement over the ipod that Santa had left for him under the tree! I tried to share his enthusiasm...but told him quickly that he simply had to go back to bed immediately and stay there for another 2 or 3....or 5 hours. He headed back up the stairs. But I knew that 20 minutes later he had NOT gone back to bed as I had instructed. Afraid that they might wake the little princess at this terrible hour I head up the stairs a little before 5 a.m. and give them the "serious" talk and threat about what will happen if they wake their sister so early. I put them in the dark....shut the door...and under threat of death...put them back to bed. Or so I thought. I SPECIFICALLY told them I did not wish to see them until after 6 or 6:30 a.m...at the earliest. Yet...at 5:45 a.m. Max came back again begging to play his video game that Santa left. I figured that would be good for a solid two hours of peace and sleep...and agreed. I was just drifting back to sleep for the third time when Clara came in, all full of rejoicing that Santa had indeed come and left presents (she'd already seen them she informed us)and announced that she was ready for us ALL to go in and check out the goodies. Chris and I know better than to ignore those demand/commands and we groaned and rolled ourselves right on out of bed. Chris smacked the coffee maker on the way into the living room and we all gathered around and ooohed and aahhed over all the dazzling and intuitive gifts left by the man in the red suit. Such a good job Santa did this year. Boy...that Santa is one sharp cookie! Everyone received what they wanted and the day went off without a hitch. After all that excitement I got to walk with my dear friend Mary. We got in a good little route...though not the power route we have been walking. But that was fine because I arrived home with energy to spare. I set out to put all the new goodies into place within our household, cleaning up all the wrapping paper and running the laundry, dishwasher and vaccuum. It was a very productive afternoon! I'm going to have to leave our Christmas day at that. There's more...but I'm going to wrap this up on a positive note! It is now 8:44 and I can no longer hold my eyes open. The kids show no signs of slowdown at this point. The fact that Clara had a three hour nap is probably boosting her stamina substantially...but I myself, am pooped and have to call it a night! Merry Christmas!

14

14 years ago, today, I followed through with the biggest decision of my life and married my dear friend and love of my life, Chris. Looking back...I had only known Chris for 6 weeks when he proposed. What's funny is I had only liked him for 3 of those six weeks! Nine months to the day that we met, we were married in my hometwon church...surrounded by friends and family who loved us and wished us well. After the reception we rode away...literally, off into the sunset in a horse drawn carriage. It sounds dreamy. It was. It was magic. Now I sit here 14 years, three children, 8 addresses, 7 vehicles and 3 dogs later just reflecting on it all. Part of me said fourteen years isn't a big deal. It's the fives that matter...you know...15, 20, 25, etc. But over the last couple of years, as Chris and I have watched so many of our friends really struggle in their marriages, I have decided that fourteen is HUGE! It's huge and it's wonderful and it's an awesome accomplishment. And lest you are sitting there thinking how fortunate I am to have married someone so "perfect and easy to love", I'm going to have to bust your bubble and tell you that he is NOT always easy to love (and every now and again, I might not be the sweet dear thing you know and love either!) and it has NOT always been a smooth road for us. We have had our share of struggles and gone through some real marriage busters...but we made it. We stand on the other side now and look back at that journey and those challenges....and we are so thankful that we made it through. And that we are standing on the other side...TOGETHER. I wouldn't trade that man for any other man on the face of the earth. He has been the greatest gift that God ever gave me. I am thankful for every single minute we have spent joined in holy matrimony. Today we start our journey toward our 15th year. We're so glad to have come to the fourteenth year marker. And now it's onward! Another year. Another journey. I can't think of anyone else that I would rather have as my traveling companion on this journey called life!

"His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this is my friend..." -Song of Songs 5:16

Max

I took these of Max this weekend at the Lake and I loved them! Had to share my baby!

Camping at Patagonia Lake State Park

This weekend our family escaped to the beautiful Patagonia Lake State Park. Just a stone's throw away from Tucson, but so very lovely and peaceful. It was a bit too exciting when we first arrived. We took the "scenic route", thanks to the GPS navigation system. We ended up having to backtrack and probably ended up adding at least an hour to our travel time. So we arrived under full darkness in a new place with NO idea where anything was. We maneuvered into a spot we thought would work okay and proceeded to open up the camper to set up camp. That's when we discovered the disaster! Our refrigerator had come open at some point en route. The floor of the camper was covered in broken eggs and a full container of French Vanilla creamer had coated the floor from one end of the camper to the other! WHAT A MESS!!! So there we are...in pitch black darkness...freezing cold, trying to use freezing cold wet rags to sop up and remove this egg concoction from the floor so we can let the poor children and two dogs (did I mention that the hounds were along for this particular road trip?!) in from the cold. Oh yeah. It was big fun. We finally got it all cleaned up and got everyone in for the night and we collapsed, exhausted, into bed. The next day dawned bright and crisp...and downright chilly. After a breakfast of bacon and eggs and pancakes, we took a boat tour of the lake...and ended up having 5 tour guides all to ourselves! So we learned a lot and saw a lot and it was a beautiful morning to be out on the water. Then we enjoyed the rest of the afternoon reading and taking long walks...and of course a few pictures! Chris took a much needed nap with Clara. Ben did some fishing, and Max and mom hiked around looking for cool stuff to take pictures of. All in all, it was a wonderful weekend. Our trip back home was without incident...and was a lot shorter too! It was a fantastic time and a place we would definitely visit again! Now we will rest up for 4 days before we head out again! Stay tuned!

Bad Dog

So...I turned around in the kitchen tonight to find Oscar standing on the kitchen island. Yep. He can jump that high. No problem. I was not amused. At all. He was just walking around up there big as a dollar...checking out all the contents there. Lucky for us...no food was up there. Still. I find his cat-like features to be a bit annoying. I've been glaring at him and calling him the bad dog that he is all night now. BAD DOG!!!! NO more counters for you!

They All Ate It!

My whole family ate this dish tonight. That's a pretty major miracle in our house! So I thought that I would share this great miracle recipe with all of you!

Penne Pasta with Spinach and Feta

1-8 oz. package penne pasta
5 large plum tomatoes, seeded and chopped
2 cups fresh spinach
4 green onions, chopped
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 teaspoons dired or 1 tablespoon chopped fresh oregano
2 teaspoons dried or 1 tablespoon chopped fresh basil
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1- 6 oz package basil and tomato crumbled feta cheese
OPTIONAL: 1 lb cooked and crumbled bacon, 1 cooked rotisserie chicken, grilled chicken breasts or chopped ham

Cook the pasta in a large dutch oven. Drain and return to dutch oven. Stir in tomatoes and the rest of the ingredients. Cook 2 minutes over medium heat or until thoroughly heated. Top with cheese. Serve immediately.

Chris likes a little meat with his dinner...so I started adding in the bacon or rotisserie chicken. I couldn't believe all kids ate this dish...liked it...asked for seconds! I figure it's worth sharing! Oh...and it's fairly heart healthy too...just for the record in case anyone else in the world is watching their cholesterol intake! Enjoy!

Enigma

e·nig·ma [uh-nig-muh]
–noun, plural -mas, -ma·ta - 1. a puzzling or inexplicable occurrence or situation:
2. a person of puzzling or contradictory character:
3. a saying, question, picture, etc., containing a hidden meaning; riddle.

—Synonyms 1. problem. See puzzle.

This is the word that my son's writing teacher used to describe Max yesterday in a most interesting telephone conversation. This conversation started out like so many others I have had concerning my two sons. It went like this..."You know Mrs. Roberts, your son is one of the very smartest in the class.....BUT..." See...there is that little word that always seems to follow the words telling me how smart my kids are. So, so smart...BUT. And so...there was the but...but this time it was more like..."Your kid is really, really smart, BUT he has an F in my class." Nice. Very, very nice. I do so love those conversations. Especially when we get down to the meat of the matter and I get to find out exactly WHY we have an F in class. Seems Max just can't seem to turn in his homework assignments. Six of them to be exact. So he has 6 big zeroes sitting there in his class average right now. Lovely. Just lovely. And so I take my dear little Max aside...careful to keep him just out of arms' reach because I really want to just THROTTLE the kid right then, and we proceed to investigate our backpack for these little missing assignments. We manage to produce three of them from the depths of his pack. And can I tell you...that backpack was just SCARY! I have never seen so much trash in one bag in my life! So on top of receiving this less than fantastic news about my flunking child, I get to rifle through this pigsty of a backpack. Needless to say, I was having a FIT! That's right F-I-T....FIT. Max and I had a bit of a conversation. Not so nice really on my end. Not nice at all. It was spelled out clearly for him. I left no illusions in his mind about his status and what it was going to take to change it. He's grounded...again. Of course, they've been grounded so long that they don't really know any difference anymore. Must think up some new and torturous punishment that will work on these boys of mine. So Max will miss Nite of Lights tonight with his dearest friend. He will be sitting home alone while the rest of us revel in the festivities of the season. I hate that...but that's the consequences of insisting on being an "enigma". Lucky me...mom to the enigma. I am praying for a transformation. From a state of enigmadom to a state of clear thinking and organization. Yes...I am fully aware that that will be a full on miracle and will require the contacting of the church to verify it's authenticity...but a miracle is exactly what it is going to take to get this child to function like the very bright kid that he is. And to move beyond the label of "enigma". Pray for the mommy! Oh...Do please pray for the mommy!

B is for....

B.U.I. I'm Blogging Under the Influence tonight. It has been a rough afternoon in the world of Tonya. Chris called this afternoon...out of the blue...with a long list of reasons we should have our dog put to sleep. Now, Casey is 14 years old as of Thanksgiving. No spring chicken by any means. Casey was a wedding present. 14 years ago...I was so very excited about marrying Chris Roberts. So very excited. But marrying Chris meant moving far away from all of my friends and family to totally foreign territory. Which I gladly did. But even though it was an exciting time...it was a sad time too, for me. And when we went to Columbus, GA over New Year's for a post-wedding reception with all of his parent's friends...Chris brought home this tiny, wriggling, fluffy, adorable yellow puppy. And that' when Casey took over our lives and stole our hearts. She was our first baby, so to speak. Been around so much longer than any of our kids. And now, suddenly...we are faced with this decision. And it is not a big obvious one. There are some signs...yes. But she is still very much with us...and the question of whether or not she is suffering...well, that one is wide open for debate. And honestly...at this moment in time...suffering does not seem to be a real issue for her. It's a lot to swallow and take in. I don't really even like thinking about it and I have been on the verge of tears most of the night now. Part of me knows it is time (or at least suspects that it is) to let her go. But part of me looks at her and says she is just fine. She's good. Not perfect...or young and spry by any means...but fine, just the same. I am struggling with this decision tonight. I have already reemed my husband for his total lack of insensitivity....ONE, by calling me on the phone about it instead of having a rational conversation with me. And TWO...for choosing just days before our anniversary to do this. Ugggh. My heart is just breaking tonight thinking of sending our Casey off. If she was obviously struggling...and I mean obviously...I would not hesitate. But she is not obviously struggling. She IS old and she IS arthritic...that is not new. But I can't get there tonight. That's pretty pathetic, I know. I consider myself to be rather gifted as far as death and dying go. I'm pretty darned good at it to tell you the truth. If you had any idea how many times I have witnessed a tiny, sweet baby being pulled off of life support...or watched them fight for and draw their last breaths...And never one tear. Not one. Yet here I have this old, decrepid, smelly dog...and I can't even imagine doing that...being there when she goes. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? HOW MESSED UP IS THAT???? That I would be more comfortable and more okay with watching a CHILD draw their last breath than some old stupid dog? I can't do it. I tell you...I can't do it. It breaks my heart into a million pieces and then some. And I keep seeing her look at me tonight. It's as if she knows that her very fate rests solely in my hands. And when she turns those big brown eyes to me that way...well...I just come undone. Which is where I am tonight. Totally undone. And totally sad at the thought of having to end this chapter in our lives. To say goodbye to this friend of ours. To this one that has been with me the longest.

G is for...

Golf Course. I had the very great priviledge last night of photographing a family at this totally awesome and beautiful golf course way, way, way on the other side of town. It was awesome beyond words. VERY green. Almost made me want to take up golf! I did pick out a lovely home while I was out there. Just a little abode on the hill top. Nothing a couple or three million dollars wouldn't buy! Had views of practically the whole world! AMAZING! I'm thinking I'm going to have to take some pretty spectacular pictures in my lifetime to be able to even dream about one of those houses! Anyway. Delightful evening...delightful family. They have a three year old that I just adore. She is such a little firecracker. The sweetest thing you'll ever meet. She talks a blue streak at you. Her personality has really started to shine here lately. I should rephrase that. I am certain that child has been busting with personality since day one! But she has just recently started sharing it with me! She did so fantastic (and three year olds are TOTAL wildcards...by the way. You NEVER know what they will do or how they will react.) She was charming, and sweet and cooperative. She was really working the camera for a short spell. I could take pictures of her all day long, she's just so cute and pretty. However, this child would have none of that. She gives me a very definite limit on the number of pictures that I can take and then informs me that I am all done. Yesterday was no different. She let me know more that once that we were "all done"..."I think that's enough for now" she tells me...and then she ushers us all back into the golf cart for more adventures. She was such fun to work with. The whole family was. I love their pictures. Not all of them. But a good several. I reexamined them this morning...and I still really like them. I always go back and look the next day. You get a lot of fresh new perspective that way...can see things differently after a good night's sleep and a break from staring at the images until they are burned on your eyeballs! I don't know if they will love them...but I sure do love several of them. Too many, actually. I know that it was a great night for me. A fun family, an awesome place to shoot, and a whole new experience for me. I rather liked it. A fantastic end to a fantastic day!

D is for....

Do you hear that? That loud, groaning would be the sound of defeat. Who is defeated you ask? That would be Chris. Clara is kicking his butt playing tennis on the Wii. It's pretty hysterical. Clara beats him time and again and then Chris insists on a rematch. He is so determined to win one. But somehow...as usual, Clara is our family's strongest Wii athlete by far. Look out folks...he just flipped on the ceiling fan. The man is working up a sweat trying to beat his 5 year old daughter! He was just reminding us, moments before the game started that he did, you know, used to play on the college tennis team. Fat lot of good it's doing for him tonight! Clara is just smokin him! AGain, and again, and again! After 9 matches...totally defeated, he finally admits defeat and quits. She's trying to soothe his ego now by inviting him for a match of boxing or golf. She's promising not to "beat his butt" at golf. The boys won't play baseball with her...she gets too many homeruns. She is the reigning Wii champion in our house for sure! Not sure at all how she does it. She's magic on that game system! It has made for a VERY entertaining evening, for sure!